Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Last Flight of the Holiday Season
Yup, this is your Captain speaking. And Yup, you read right. This is the last flight for this Holiday, which ends in two weeks time. Elena Airlines apologises for the inconvenience caused when all flights are cancelled till after two weeks. (Perasan case, like as if anyone reads this blog)
This Plane will be parked in the hangar for two weeks, absolutely no flights. Not even little jumps. The reason... your captain is going for a self-declared vacation to India for two weeks. 14 days of pure fun and fun and fun. Gonna go there and create havoc all over the place. MWAHAHAHA!!! Will wreck destruction worse than the tsunami, cause anarchy worse than George Bush, the whole subcontinent will burst into dust and sink to the bottom of the Indian Ocean.
ANd we say goodbye to YeeP and Grass. MWAHAHA!!!
Anyway, anybody who wants any souvenirs... tmr is the last chance for you guys to ask for it. And only those who post a message in the chatterbox will get one. Hehe...
Finally, a holiday. What will I be bringin to India? (Other than explosives and AK47s)... Going to india for Medical Electives, hoping to don the pristine white coat that symbolises the career I unfortunately chosen, but then Grass said donnit. Wahlaueh... cannot meh? But then Grace said must bring stethoscope. Yay!!! Can at least tunjuk gaya!! And flashlight. Yup she said flashlight.
Had this conversation with her just now.
I: Cannot bring labcoat, can bring stethoscope?
Grass: Must bring.
I: Yay!!! Can bring stethoscope!
Grass: And flashlight.
I: For what?
Grass: To shine into ppl's eyes and nose.
I: We meeting Indian's yup, but donnit so bright right.
Grass: ah, pentorch.
Grass, grass... tch, tch. Hehe.. Insulting the Indians for being so dark. How could you?
But there is no doubt about something. Among three of us, Me, YeeP and Grass, Grass is definitely the most responsible, no? So she'll be in charge of MY passport. So if it gets lost, I'm not to blame. Hehe..
Things to bring:
1. Bible and Recommendation Letter from church.
2. Stethoscop & Pentorch (not flashlight)
3. Clothes - 1 weeks worth and then rewash.
4. Camera
5. Notebooks
6. Pen & Pencils
7. Storybooks (just in case bored)
8. Shoes, socks, slippers
9. Cannot forget Visa, Passport, IC
10. Hm...MONEY!!! Kept in a pouch, hung around the neck and next to the skin (safest place possible)
And since it's a Medical Elective:
11. Clinical Medicine (Telly's / Mcleoids)
12. Hmm... Papa patho, Davidson, Harrison, Dorlands...
Jus jking. Tho No. 11 is valid. Its just tat I dont have any Clinical Medicine textbooks with me.
And what am I bringin back from India?
1. Kamasutra
2. Netters
3. Perfumed Garden
4. Books and more books
5. Half the disease in the world.
Pretty exciting two weeks to look forward to. I'm sure all off you are eager to know what's happening during this part of the Journey through my Fucked Up life. (For those who aren't, just shut up and pretend you are). But we are India. Chances of getting good connection (or even a computer) are very low, almost nil. So since I'm the responsible Captain of this Plane, I'll be taking notes and after I return, I'll compile the trip and post it up, OK?
So till then, there will be no more flights. You passengers can just sit back and visit some other blogs. Return two weeks from the above date and be ready for more action on this Journey through my Fucked Up life.
Man, I can't wait for the trip. To get away from behind this stupid desk, to just spread my wings and leap into the air and leave all worries behind. Working is a really huge thorn embedded deep in the ass.
This one month of work really opened my eyes and ears to all the happening of the adult world. You just have to sit at that little corner and, my God, all kinds of rumors just filter through. And how shrewd and dumb some ppl can be. Lemme give u some example:
#1: I was touching up this logo for a customer and the customer is talking to Boss bout this friend of hers. The friend is a late 40 male, married with a 10 year old kid. This male has a mistress, who happened to be a 19 years old college student studying in Nilai. Talk about being a paedophile. He bought a car for her, jewelleries, paid for tuition fees. And a few weeks ago, the student left him with HER BOYFRIEND. Talk about being a dumb paedophile.
#2: We have a customer named Shith. How am I to pronounce it? I was to call him one day. "Good morning, can I speak to Mr. er...er.. This is Ant Image."
#3: We have a fat lady customer. Very bitchy, like to bitch around. I call her Fei Poh Lai Lai.
#4: There is one customer that looked like Chik Ian. Quarrelled with him once, I fucking dont care. His fault anyway. He gave me the logo and I just drew according to his specs. How the hell would I know it would turn out so frigging ugly? Maybe because he thought up the logo and because he's plain dumb that's why its ugly. This proves it. Anyone that has birdface are dumb!
#5: Boss is a male chauvinistic pig. He bullies his wife around and thinks all females are useless. My dad said that it was his upbringing. Brought up in a conservative kampung family. PIG! You should see how I debated with him about who is wrong and who is right. Which of course I was right and he ending up like a fool. But still, he would not admit he's wrong. Dumb pig.
#6: Was designing a sign for a customer. He gave me the sample, ask me to follow it exactly. Those words on the sample:
Dear Customers:
Happy CHINESE New Year all the
Customers, We will be not deliver the paper.
From this date: 10, 11, 12 and 13. We will
be start on Monday 14/2/05 at delivering
the paper.
This guy stands a chance to with the Putlitzer Prize. NOT!!!
#7: A customer came down from KL to back rubberstamp. A Malay. He was bragging how much he sold his rubberstamps. At RM7. The cost is RM4.50. Dumb. He is running a lost (u have to count the petrol and tolls). My Boss said it in front of his face that he is stupid in Chinese.
#8: Boss' daughter is a real bitch. A 4 year old who is so damn spoilt it make Veronica Lodge looks like Betty Cooper. God, she screams and fakes tears when her mother do not give her what she wants. She comes to the office after kindergarten and I had to suffer her endless talking and screaming for 3 bloody hours before her father takes her home. Sometimes I feel like just choking her and throwing her down the stairs.
I can go on and on forever about all kinds of ppl I meet. Some nice, some bitchy, some dumb, some just plain annoying. And my Boss learnt not to put me at the frontline to deal with customers. Haha... no patience at all. I don't outrightly yell, i roll my eyes and be really sarcastic. Sometimes, that can be scary, even to myself.
Stupid boss, dumb customers, must always smile and all that crap. Sigh... If anything goes wrong, its "YOUR fault! Not MY fault" thrown into my face, by customers and Boss alike. Sheesh. It's the company policy that before you hand in the final product, it would be checked by a colleague to make sure that there are no mistakes. So its not completely MY fault when goods are rejected.
But when I'm not wrong? HELLO!!! WHAT THE HELL??!!! Like there was one time my Boss' computer got virus. Remember the policy of checking? I would save the work in the diskette and pass it to the Boss. So the Boss said it was my fault that the computer got the virus. All because of this dumb guy who came to check the computer and said this virus came from Internet Explorer. Well, my computer is the only one connected to the net via Broadband, so my comp is always online and it is no secret I surf as I work. But the thing is... I have erected tons of firewalls and antispywares and there are 3 anti-virus programs running every second as I work, not to mention everyday before I go home, I set my comp to scan for viruses using an online program. And that virus can't be my doing because... I use Firefox.
Go FIREFOX gO!!!
But I can't complain much. Afterall, I've downloaded up to 5 gigs of manga thanks to the company. Its manga, comic BOOKS that is like 30megaBytes per book. So how many books have I downloaded? You do the maths yourself. And talking about manga, there is one occassion I just like to share.
I got this manga website from a close friend and so I decided to check it out. So it happened the Boss' daughter was there at that time. So I turned to her to tell her to go away. Below is the conversation in Chinese:
I: Go away.
Kid: What is that?
I: *look at the computer* Holy shit!!
The website is a porn site. The manga is embedded deep within the site. So on the screen at that moment was naked hand drawn girls. I tried to close the window, and the stupid computer decided to hang at that time.
Kid: What is that?
I: Work la.
Kid: No la, why got ppl wan? (She runs to her mother.) Mommy, mommmy, come see what is that?
I: PANIC ATTACK!!!
Mother: Keep quiet. Don't disturb Elena.
Thank God for little favors. The computer went back to normal as soon as she spoke. And well ends well.
Phew...
So now it has come to an end and in 24 hours I would be on a plane heading out to the great unknown with two good friends.
Till I return, adios amigos!!
One of these things is not like the others... A Stapler,
Mothra, and the Olympics. SO... which one is it?
- Yuji Horii (Dream Ending), Chrono Trigger
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