The Road through my Fucked Up Life.

Road paved on 2:54 PM |

Tragedy, sex and Superman

According to Parry White, Editor of Daily Planet, these three things are the only things that sell a newspaper. And to paraphrase the man: Since everyone is tired of tragedy, and you can't write sex stories, so stick to Superman.

Well, I am sick of tragedy, I can write sex stories, but I'm not putting them on here, so I'm going to blog about the Man of Steel.



Anyway, we did go and watch the movie and I won't go into details about it. Hell, I won't be even reviewing it. Instead, we are going to walk through the talk that we had when we stepped out of the cinema.

Now, 8 of us went to watch the movie: Me, Richard, Raj, Daniel, Zen, SanSan, YK and Fat Ai Ling. And because Superman II (SR is a sequel to Superman II, if you guys did not know) was our parents' generation and we did not watch, or forgot about it as we were still small when it came out (SII came out in 1978), the question that everyone was asking was:

When did he do her?


Now, if you are wondering why we would be asking this question, there could only be three reasons:
A: You did not watch the movie. (You are so gonna regret it if you continue reading)
B: You are fell asleep halfway and did not see a little boy throw a piano.
C: You are plain stupid?

Or you just did not see the importance of such question.

But since we do, we were bombarding Raj about it (he was apparently the most well-read among us, well-read in comics that is). And he told us that he did her (Superman did Lois, not Raj did Lois) in SII. Ahh... now I see.

And I found out that he did her in the Fortress of Solitude (my curiosity got the best of me) and other questions might include:
So did she still remember the hot steamy night there?
Why did she forget that Clark is Superman?
Do you think that Superman remember that hot steamy night?

But instead the question turned to how is it possible that Superman impregnant Lois Lane. One may think that that they are the different species and cross-breeding is against natural selection.

But instead, the question was like:
He is Superman, won't his sperm have super powers and penetrate the womb or something?

Wahlaueh, like that also can talk.

But it sounded plausible. I mean, look at it this way. Ejaculation can be a very powerful force, so Superman being Superman, he has immense strength, and so first Law of Newton deduced that the sperm would have enough force to penetrate the walls of the uterus.

Zen: "And penetrate all the way and come out at the mouth." (doubling over and pretend to vomit)

Ewww...

Or you could look at the other way. Superman has damn a lot of strength (hell, he could spin Earth backwards) and he controls his strength to human-level. But at the moment of orgasm, it is very hard to have control over your own body and so won't his gigantic strength be unleashed at that moment, tearing her into two, literally.

Ok, too literal. We'll stick with the super strong sperms.


And so how did Superman do Lois if the conditions were like that?
We came out with a few ideas.

Idea 1: Mind over body.
Superb control at the point of ejaculation is needed. Repeat the litany: "Do not shoot, dribble, dribble, dribble.

Idea 2: Kryptonite scatter on the bed.
Even I a non-Superman fan knows that Kryptonite is bad for Superman. It weakens him to human-level strenght. So can la, like that. No problem wat... sperm also reduced to normal human sperm level wat.

Idea 3: Kryptonite powder.
Placed in a pepper shaker, and used by shaking the powder over the penis before doing her. Works the same way as Idea 2.

Can you imagine if they used coitus interruptus (where the male withdraw the penis before ejaculation), the sperm would spray out like bullets. Can penetrate steel walls. Awesome.


But since we did know what they did within the crystal fortress, we fast forward to the latest movie and look at the outcome of such a hot steamy night in the middle of Artic.

Outcome 1: Bad relationship.
The guy wants the girl, the girl hates the guy.

Outcome 2: Putlitzer Prize.
Long story, watch the movie.

Outcome 3: So cuuuuutttteeee boy!!
The boy is sooooo cuuttee!! SQUEAL!!! The son of Superman, so adorably innocent and with that asthma and all, people won't even figure out that he is Superman-to-be. Wah!! So cute! Want to pinch his cheek. Wheee...

We think that the boy inherited human's immunity to Kryptonite. So since Kryptonite is Superman's only weakness, won't that make Jason White super invincible??? Almost like god-like?

"Gods are selfish beings who fly around in little red capes and don't share their power with mankind." - Lex Luthor.
Don't forget that red underwear.

I don't really like the cape. To quote Edna: No Capes.


Ryu is the kind of guy who can...
no, will change the world.
I'm not surprised that you're worried about him...
- Rei, Breath of Fire III

We passed by on 2:54 PM |

Road paved on 6:06 PM |

20 Names

Name 20 people you can think of at the top of your head. Don't read the questions before you write.

01. Richard
02. Cassandra
03. Zen
04. Adrian
05. Kanishah
06. Yee Pei
07. Sheena
08. San San
09. Adeline
10. Yih Seong
11. Prasad
12. Deborah
13. Shi Ching
14. Jody
15. Ken Jay
16. Rajinder
17. Daniel
18. TJ
19. Linda
20. Ai Ling

How did you meet 14?
We are in the same class in Taylor's. PM5 rules.

What would you do if you never met 1?
Like die or something. I'll be lost in this huge world with no support. Then again, if never met 1, I would be having fun somewhere far far away. Maybe.

What would you do if 20 and 9 dated?
Like probably faint. Agong and Ai Ling, two really different people but becoming doctors. Ai Ling maybe not, but Agong tend of these types of tendency to date people her own sex.

Did you ever like 19?
Yeah.. she's my friend. Like duh.

Would 6 and 17 make a good couple?
Haha... I can't wait to see these two get together. Yeep and Daniel, so different people. But can play mahjong the whole night la. Like the couple in Kungfu Master. Hey, they looked the same too.

Describe 3.
Zen is a crazy, fun loving girl. Who is super pretty, and very fun to be with. Like lil miss perfect... smart, attractive, Dean's List student, doctor to be... a bit stress to have a friend like her. Currently digging through piles of faecal matter and soon to be flying away to UK.

Do you think 8 is attractive?
She is so cute!!! We are really a like, but she is way smarter. And if intelligence is an attracting factor, yes, she is attractive. Not that I would go after her or anything.

Tell me something about 7.
The greatest threat to society from the God-forsaken land of oil rigs and monkeys and jungle: Miri.

Do you know any of 12's family?
Not personally. Just had a glimpse of them. Two MENSA brothers, one who owns a PSP. Guess that's all I know.

What's 18's favourite?
Huh? Favourite what? Past time? Maybe procrastinating.

What would you do if 11 confesses that he/she likes you?
Die laughing. He's my cute little junior. I like older guys, so Pwasy, sorry. You are cute, really cute... but you and I... we weren't meant to be.

Who is 9 going out with?
I would like to think that she's going out with a guy in skirt, or at least Herbie... but knowing her, she'll either die a spinster or get a girlfriend.

How old is 16 now?
OMG, I just realised that I don't know. Raj, are you 22 or 23?

When was the last time you talked to 13?
A month ago, during convo. Ok, I am very bad at keeping contacts.

Who's 2 favourite band/singer?
What? Cass, what do you listen to? British music? I don't know. Guess I still don't know you well enough. Bla... useless me.

Would you date 4?
*shake head fervently* And probably die from losing too much money to him in mahjong.

Would you date 7?
*runs away* God forbid!!! Even if I'm a guy, still... NO.

Is 15 single?
Hmm.. Hey KJ, have you found yourself an Australian babe?

What's 10's last name?
Wong Yih Seong, which is the last name? Yih Seong is his last name.

Would you ever be in a serious relationship with 11?
Haha. Question answered previously. A serious relationship of Senior-Junior, yeah. But other than that??? I don't think so. Pwasy, are you interested in BDSM?

Which school does 3 go to?
IMU, then Glasgow.

Where does 6 live?
JB. Haha, i knew that.

What's your favourite thing about 5?
Woot woot. A super funny friend who can write and write. My favourite thing about her is her writings... and maybe her books that she lends me... and of course the chocolates I leech from her... and the fact that I can talk about anything with her. Hey... I have a lot of favourite thing about you, Nish.

...Or Evermore will be nevermore forevermore!
- Whatsisname, Secret of Evermore

We passed by on 6:06 PM |

Road paved on 5:06 PM |

Arghh!!

Argh!!! I can't believe anyone can be so spineless and prideless and useless. You son of bitch do not deserve to be here, where the whole world could witness your defeat. You said that you would settle for a draw, that I understand, after all you were against someone more powerful. But I did not expect this.

You gave your second best in a fight. I know you are already through, but the pride, your sense of dignity. Gone, washed down the drains that would bear you away. You have a history where you were looked down upon, detested and scorned. And now you had a chance to prove yourself, to show that you can also fight, you blew it away. With this kind of fucking attitude, you might as well be looked down upon for the rest of your life.

Fuck, you did not even fight. You just let them kill you, tear you into tiny pieces. And you still say that you have pride. I spit on you. You do not have pride, not even a tiny shred. I always thought that rooting for you would be the best thing ever. The underdog that rose against all odds. But then you go and do this. I no longer respect you. You are below trash, below the slime that gather below trash.

And I hate you. Right from the very bottom of my heart, from the deepest recesses of my soul. I hate you.

I do not want to do this, but you left me no choice. Was I wrong to stand behind you and give you all my support. I think I was. Why did I even choose such a useless person as you. You might as well go to hell right now and stay there.

Or, prove yourself to me again. Show me that the past should be buried and that you can strive ahead. I no longer trust you, but maybe I can respect you again. It's all up to you. *sneer* I doubt it, but still you have a chance. We would have gone far, you and me, if you had not make this mistake. But I guess once you're fucked up, you stay fucked up.

So are you going to do it? Are you going to fight again? Or can you?

Odessa always said that one who doesn't use his powers is a coward.
- Mathiu, Suikoden I

We passed by on 5:06 PM |

Road paved on 11:06 PM |

Who is more Chin Kak?

This question was put forth when I came back from pasar malam.

We were walking past rows and rows of peddlers selling pirated DVDs and among those DVDs were of course porn DVDs (ranging from got storyline, to no storyline, to gay porn and normal porn). There is also self-burnt DVDs with titles like "School Girls", "16 years old", "The Young and Innocent" (No pictures, so don't know what it is about but sounds a lot like child pornography) and "Heart's Desire" etc.

It is quite disturbing to see that these DVDs are lined alongside DVDs of Ultraman, and Power Rangers, and Barney the Gay Dinosaur, and Superman cartoons. Even more disturbing is a small boy looking through these cartoon DVDs with his mom and his eyes straying to the porn DVDs arranged beside them. Hmm... and his mom said nothing.

Anyway, the question is this:

WHO IS MORE CHIN KAK (DESPICABLE)? THE PERSON SELLING PORN or THE PERSON BUYING PORN?

Now, people has said that this question is like the chicken and egg question, where there is no one true answer. But still, it is debatable.

"The person selling, because if they don't sell, people won't get."
"Selling is a service done for the betterment of the better good."
"The person buying. Because if got no demand, will have no supply. "
"When the buying stops, the filming stops too."

Well, my answer: The person selling porn.
Because PORN IS SUPPOSED TO BE FREE, it is supposed to be distributed freely for everyone to see. So the person selling it is more chin kak as he exploits porn by earning money from it, when it is supposed to be FREE.

So in you own opinion, who is more chin kak?

Why not? I don't have anything to lose but my life. . .
and I got that for free!
- Setzer, Final Fantasy VI

We passed by on 11:06 PM |

Road paved on 7:50 PM |

WC Update

Question: What goes Klak, klak, klak, bang, bang, "Pong", bang, bang, "Wu", klak, klak, klak, bang, bang, "Pong", bang, "Game"...?
Answer: B1-9-6 on a normal night of mahjong.

Question: What goes Klak, klak, klak, bang, "Pong", bang, "Oi, pay attentionla", bang, "Wu", klak, klak, "GOAL!!!", *loud noises*, "AIYO, IDIOT!!!", *more loud noises*, "GOAL!!!!"?
Answer: B1-9-6 from 9pm to 5am during World Cup month.

Yes, the House of Vice, the most happening house during the World Cup month. It's a surprise that the neighbours did not complain. Three in the morning, with all doors open wide. And going to go on for the whole month.

Anyway, this is just for a quick update.

South Korea vs Togo
Won RM30 full. With lucky scores. Damn lucky.

France vs Suisse
Useless piece of shit. France, they will never make it to the second round. Against the Switzerland and drawing? They can just go fuck themselves in the ass and go to hell. I loss, btw. RM40 (biggest bet so far and first loss)

Brazil vs Croatia.
Sad, sad, sad. Fei-chai (fat boy) Ronaldo was so useless it was like Brazil was playing a 10-players game. It was saddening. I loss RM30.

Spain vs Ukraine
I should have betted RM1000 instead of RM30. Spain was good, really good.

Saudi vs Tunisia.
My first game of 'eat ball'. Meaning I am on the losing side which in this case Tunisia, and I won RM10. This was something unexpected.

Germany vs Poland.
Don't bullshit me about conserving energy and fucks like that. We predicted a 2 goal difference with Germany leading, mana tau, Germany only scored once. Go to hell. Lost RM15.


We discovered that when you watch football, there is two types of 'sien' or boredom.
1. Stressful sien.
2. Blissful sien.

Stressful sien:
The sien like during most of the games we betted on (eg Brazil, Mexico) where the goals come only in last 15 minutes and the rest of the match damn sien. But it was stressful becos we still stress about going to win or not.

Blissful sien:
The sien during the Spain match where the match was already won 20 minutes into the game and after that we are just destined to win, so it's sien.

People are never satisfied, aren't they?

CHA-CHING "blam blam blam"
- Command & Conquer

We passed by on 7:50 PM |

Road paved on 5:18 PM |

World Cup Fever.

64 matches.

32 nations.

30 days.

12 cities.

1 topic on conversation.

Yes, it is the time of the year. The time where people from all walks of life can finally gather and talk about one thing. The time where reading the sports news is a must if you do not want to be ignored. The time we renew our passion with a game we detested for 4 years. The time we are united to cheer together. The time we jump into a single boat and decide to sink or swim. The special time where the circadian cycle of our body is reversed. Yes.. it is time for a fever.

Football fever. World Cup fever.

There are many world cups in the world: swimming, fishing, skating, kite-flying etc. But when we talk about THE world cup, there is only one WORLD CUP. The FIFA World Cup.

I first got involved in World Cup in 1998, France '98. Back then, the biggest bet was RM35 in the finals between France and Brazil, and I lost RM35. Hell, last time, RM35 was like gold. I don't get no allowances and it is pretty tough to save up to RM35. At least I had my previous winnings to fall back on.

Then in Seoul-Japan '02, I was out of touch with it. No kaki in college ma. So no batting lor. Could have won quite a bit back then.

And now, Germany 2006, the time has finally come again for me to place all hands on deck and have fun with the guys. Late nights of football + mahjong. Shouting GOAL!!! at 4 o'clock in the morning can be exhilirating. And when you have money on the game, all the more fun.

RICHARD has a very comprehensive post on how the betting system works. So head on over if you are interesting to flex those wallets.

Every night, we will converge at the House of Vice aka B1-9-6 (one of the elevators shows -9 which i supposed is the Ninth Level of Hell. How appropriate. Haha. And then the fun begins.

So far, my games:
England vs Paraguay : Dumb bookie, so not counted. (I din't win any or lose any, btw)

Mexico vs Iran : Mexico must win by 1 goal. If draw, we lose. A very late bet of RM20 which won me RM18++. Woot woot.
Highlights:
At first Mexico was leading 1-0. Then Justin arrived and the moment he said 'Hi', Iran scored. WTH?!!! And it was 1-1 till the second half. And we thought we were losing. Then Justin said that it was late and he had to go. 3 minutes after he left, Mexico scored. And scored again.
So what is the conclustion?

Italy vs Ghana : Italy must win by 2 goals. If 1 goal, we get half money. If draw, we lose. A bet of RM30 which won me RM28.50. Woohoo!!
Highlights:
Rajinder's virgin bet and there are many heart-stopping moments. But in the end, what can I say? The Italians look good scoring.

Further matches to come:
South Korea vs Togo: One goal to win. Lose if we draw. Bets on South Koreans.
France vs Switz: Bets on France, but knowing those frenchmen, they very sesat wan.
Brazil vs Crotia: It is no surprise that Brazil will win here, but the handicap of 1 1/4 balls, a bit too much I think. But nevertheless, bets on brazil again.


So, fellow tourists, wanna bet on the games? I don't mind being bookie on this site. Mwahaha... if police comes then mah cabut la.

Afterall: Football fever... priceless.

There's nothing like the sound of
hundreds of voices screaming in unison.
- Kefka, Final Fantasy VI

We passed by on 5:18 PM |

Road paved on 2:56 PM |

Radidiocrasy

I have not listened to Hitz.fm for a very very long time and only recently I started as I have to go down to Seremban at the unearthly time of 7 in the morning. And I found out that the radio is getting stupider and stupider everyday. Hands up those who find JJ and Rudy's laughter very very annoying. Hands up those who find Hitz.fm going down the drain. Hands up those who find the anti-piracy advertisements are ridiculous.

For example:

Eg: This guy from God-knows-where talking about watching a movie on pirated VCD. He talks about how the screen shakes, got people standing up, bad sound, not clear...
My take on it:
1. This guy is declaring that he watches pirated stuff on air. Why isn't the gov. doing anything to catch him? Piracy is a crime, ain't it?
2. Dude, buy pirated DVDs. They are clear and the same price la.
3. Just download the blardy movie. DVDrips are cool and good.

Eg: This guy idiotically talking about hearing music from pirated CDs. About how those music skips and all and scratches.
My take on it:
1. Pirated CD is so much damn cheaper.
2. Download MP3s, dude. So much cheaper.
3. If you complain so much, burn your own CDs.

Eg: This guy talking about playing pirated games. About how they hang and there is a footballer named David Beckhand in Championship Manager.
My take on it:
1. Idiot, the games only hang because you don't know to install. Idiot.
2. When they pirate games, they COPY those games, not redo the games. There is no way you can change anything in the game. Idiots.
3. Let's see if you will go and buy a game worth RM150.

Eg: This guy talking about how he bought a pirated PC game and called all his friends together to play. When he installed it, it hanged and his friends hated him.
My take on it:
1. Refer to No. 1 of previous example.
2. Which idiot call his friends together to play a PC game in a house. Stupid, that's what cyber cafes are for.
3. If your friends hate you for a hanged game, they don't deserve to be your friends.

Eg: This guy talking about supporting the Malaysian music industry by not supporting piracy. And how they will be selling kajang satay and what-nots if the piracy continues.
My take on it:
1. The only way we will get to know about this Malaysian bands is thru piracy, cos I ain't gonna waste RM39++ on one stupid band. So piracy is doing them good.
2. Pirates won't even want to pirate them. They are not worth pirating. Hell, I won't even buy them if I see them pirated.
3. The music industry was never a career worth thinking about. So if you waste your future in the music industry, you deserve to just sell satay beside the road.


So you see? Those anti-piracy campaigns are a failure, because they seriously do not know what they are talking about. You know, I think the gov should stop wasting money on these campaigns and use those money to subsidise CDs/DVDs so they would be cheaper. If not, channel it to petrol subsidy.

And I don't know if you ever heard the advertisement for Malay Mail. They now changed it to Weekend Mail, but when I initially heard it, it was Malay Mail. It goes like this:
Guy working for MM: Good morning, this is So-and-So, how can I help you?
Dumb girl on the other end of line 1: I heard Brad and Angelina are getting married.
GWFMM: If we know, you'll be the first to find out. Hello, how can I help you?
DGOTHOEOL 2: Brad can't marry Angelica. He is mine.
QWFMM: Uh...okay. Hello, how can I help you?
A guy: I'm calling to complain lack of light streets at my housing area.
GWFMM: Dui pu chi, wo chiang hua yi pa le. yi er san si... (faking chinese talk)
For the hottest news and tabloid, buy the Malay Mail.

Now, what the hell was that? So the Malay Mail has nothing but stupid stories of celebrities? I mean, what they think we are, idiotic teenagers whose main concern in life is whether Britney Spears is dumb (no questioning that) or if Tom Cruise is too old for his work (about time)?

So there. I don't think the radio is getting dumber. It is those people who make those advertisement and campaign going dumber.

That doesn't stop me from stating that JJ and Rudy are blardy irritating as hell.

Humans are so...silly!
- Mune, Chrono Trigger

We passed by on 2:56 PM |

Road paved on 8:20 PM |

Paranoid or just anal?

I just don't get it. Seriously. Why are all researchers so paranoid? Or izzit just IMU researchers being anal?

As you tourists would know or NOT know, I am now three months into the BMedSc. program where I get to PLAY researcher for a year before resuming the awful road to become a doctor. Not that being in this program is any better.

I have to deal with assholic doctors who are so NOT UNlike a dog which ate crap but has constipation. It ain't my fault that fucking doctor suck and does not deserve to be in MY project. It also ain't my fault that another fuckingly stupid doctor happened to hate us because of the influence of fucking doctor No. 1. Asshole.

I have to deal with samples (patients, mothers, watever. To me they are just samples, meat to draw blood from) who sometimes can be really a pain in the ass as they:-
1. Promise us blood and run away with the blood tubes.
2. Refuse us blatantly.
3. Be such a biatch.

I have to deal with supervisors (both mine and not mine). Suddenly I become a target of a bitch because the bitch happened to be my supervisor's rival. Like what the fuck?

And I have to deal with paranoid colleagues. Or are they just being anal?

What I am trying to say is best described through a few scenario:
Scenario 1:
We just came back from Seremban and the postgraduate room happened to be the shortest cut to the research lab. So we decided to take our samples (blood in sealed ice box) through the room. And to those people in the room, it was like the plague of Egypt has arrived or something. They claimed that the box is dirty and contaminated and all kinds of fucking excuses... never mind the fact that this box walked through a whole hospital with me, never mind that I walked through IMU with this box, never mind that whatever that has contaminated the box (roll eyes) has contaminated me so even if I enter the room it is ok as long as I don't have the box. And do any contaminants in blood spread through air? Maybe miliary TB can become respiratory TB?

Scenario 2:
We once had a HIV sample. And almost every lab workers kicked up a fuss of how dangerous it was, how it can spread, bla bla bla... excuse me, last I checked, it was to be ME who is doing the work, not any of them. As long as proper precaution is taken, what is the harm of using HIV blood to work with? After all, HIV may have protective effect against preeclampsia and because of these cowards, we would never know.

Scenario 3:
A chair happened to be near the refrigerator where I get my ice packs. So instead of moving cold freezing -20C ice packs to the icebox, why not bring the icebox to the ice packs. So the chair was there, easily in reach, so I used it. And of course... yes, they kick up a huge fuss too. Well, excuse me... but
1. I don't even knew it was your chair.
2. Suddenly an ice box becomes a bomb radiating with nuclear radiationg?
3. If it was dangerous, you are going to sit on that chair with your labcoat anyway, which was supposed to protect you.
4. Grow up. It is just a box. You don't see me freaking out because your labcoat brushed against me.

Paranoia? Or just being anal?


Fine, Richard came up with a few points that maybe justify the fact that maybe they have the right to object to bringing in samples to the postgrad room (like it may spill *roll eyes* as if, we were just walking through. I don't see the hospital staff or IMU staff freaking out when I walked through).
Maybe it is wrong to wear labcoats into the postgrad room for fear of contamination (never mind that what ever contaminated that labcoats would have contaminated the labs which in turn would have contaminated those idiots colleagues).
Maybe it is even wrong for me to be breathing in the postgrad room, as maybe I breathed in some toxin and exhaled it into the postgrad room. What about that?

Noticed that I used the word 'postgrad' 4 times?

The room which we now resides is called the Postgraduate Room, though there are currently more Undergraduates than Postgraduate. But those freaking out are not the undergraduates, the Doctors to be, but the postgraduate researchers (those who were SUPPOSED to be our seniors in research *roll eyes* I don't take seniority from other people too well). I don't see the undergraduates complaining at all, only the rest of the people residing in the postgrad room.

I maybe generalising, but you guys know who you are.

Fine, so they maybe justified to feel upset and all. But to freak out to the point of paranoia? I don't think so. I felt like I flew over the cuckoo's nest or something everytime one of them freaks out. Sheesh...

And even though RICHARD feels that they could treat us better, I think I would opt for the "FUCK OFF LAH" attitude, whatever that attitude means. I couldn't be bothered. Let them freak, let them scream. I'll just roll my eyes and go "Whatever, freako bitch."

Looks like Kya ha ha ha and
Gya ha ha ha are up to something agian.
- Cait Sith talking about Scarlet and Heidegger, Final Fantasy VII

We passed by on 8:20 PM |