Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Sex and Ball...???
What has sex got to do with ball????? Or ball have to do with sex, for that matter?
We can think of ways how a ball is used in sex (aka M1/04 orientation).
Casanova talked about inserting a golden ball into the vagina as a contraceptive method during sex.
When we think of sex, we think of balls (ie the male's testicles).
Sex can be a ball (ball defined as an extremely enjoyable time or experience)
Balling is the vulgar slang for to have sexual intercourse with.
What has sex got to do with ball to a medical student like me?
Actually, nothing at all. Hehe... it's just these two things are like the major focus of almost all students of M2/03, yup my batch. Sex and ball... sounds fun eh, life as a medical student?? SEX and BALL, SEX and BALL, SEX and BALL...
Ok, enuff of the crap. Why SEX and BALL seemed to be on our minds since last week? It's because it's almost a week into our Reproductive System and the IMU BALL is at the end of the week. So almost everyone in my batch has been thinking over and over again, SEX and BALL, SEX and BALL, SEX and BALL...
I'll tackle these two topics as separate points, as they are ACTUALLY SEPARATE points all together.
SEX aka REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEM
"There is just something about sex that seemed to make conversations more livelier and people usually pay more attention to whatever you are saying if somehow the word sex is involved."
The quote above is given by an old friend of mine, Ray, whose mind seemed to be filled to the brink with sex (which guy doesnt).
Ya, I would have agreed with him if not for the lectures that came with the Repro system. I tell you, according to them, sex is like the most boring thing in the world!!! Well, actually... it IS boring.
Porn IS boring!!! Sex scene in romance novels ARE boring. Ok, well, they can be exciting at first, when all things are new and you are just discovering yourself and all... but after sometime... it gets boring, B-O-R-I-N-G!!! Girls thrive on imagination and we usually care more about the plot than the act itself. Nothing is more repetitve than the act of sex itself (other than studying). How much different can you write about how people get along in bed? Or how different can one porn star be from another?? The same "fuck me in the ass!!" or "fuck me! fuck me! Faster! Deeper!" or even the "Ooohh... aaahhh...!!" it gets boring after some time.
I haven't watched an SM porn yet tho, so don't ask me... hmmm... come to think of it... it'll be really interesting...
Anyway, coming back to what I was saying about the Repro system. I could still remember how excited my classmates were back in form3 where our first science chapter was Reproduction. To tell ya the truth, that was the chapter I hated the most cos it was so boring, with all the menstrual cycles and ovarian cycles... sheesh!! Stupid chapter...
And I still feel the same way now. Sex and Repro in a way is similar, but in another way is so totally different. Put into an everyday life situation, sex and reproduction is two totally different things. Sex is something that can be casual, not linked to any commitment whatsoever. But when you reproduce, you are bringing a new life into the world, with tons of commitment and all stupid responsibilities. See???
Talk to me about sex anytime, just don't bring in repro.
We had our introduction to repro last week, and it was still pretty exciting then. I get to talk sex with people I usually don't talk sex with (sounds like talk shop). And it was during that time that Raymond's words held true. It was Juriah's lecture... supposedly to be B-O-R-I-N-G, but surprisingly, it was funny, cos I get to talk sex with innocent people like Adeline and non-innocents like Richard.
Juriah: Causes of painful intercourse.
Adeline: Infections.
Richard: Big penis, small vagina.
Elena: Insensitive men.
3 answers to that question, by 3 very different people. Agong is damn innocent, Rich is as perverted as always, Elena... well let's just say she's realistic.
Juriah challenged the guys to go to the pharmacy and make not of all the different types sanitary pads available.
Juriah: You know, the one for overnight, the one with wings...
Richard: And you can get the one with turbojets, with brands like Boeing...
Juriah: Malays call it the batang.
Big Xiao: Mine is not batang, its balak.
Literally translated as: Mine is not a twig, mine is a log!
The thing that made Repro tough is the fact that God created 2 beings instead of one. So there is the male repro system, and then there is the more complex FEMALE repro system.
Richard: Why God made two? Must study so much. One enuff la.
Elena: Ya la... make woman enuff la, why bother us with Man.
Richard: But He created man first.
Elena: Ya la... the Man was so faulty He had to create a better one ma. Woman lor.
Oh on another part of Repro, it reminded me of Mark's labrador-golden retriever. It's a female and she was giving birth with Mark looking on. Got 5 puppies, but actually supposed to have 6.
Mark: So kasihan la. So painful.
And proceeded to help the bitch to give birth to the last puppy. He gave a tug and the puppy broke into half at the neck. Can see the guts and lungs and little heart. And the poor bitch just kept on pushing the dead pup out. EWWW!!!!
Anyway, that is on Repro and going onto the next part:
BALL ie IMU BALL 2005
This Ball is held annually and is one of the big events in IMU (other than IMU Cup and Friday Night). This year, the Ball is held in JW Marriot Putrajaya and is supposedly the last Ball for our batch, M2/03. So almost everyone is going to the ball.
Before going further, I would just like to clarify I am NOT going to this Ball. And the rest of this post is going to clarify why.
Bullshit No. 1: You can have bonding with your batchmates.
My idea of bonding is
A: getting together for a game of ginrummy/bridge/mahjong/tuati with alcohol involved.
B: getting together for a heated debate where you go for each other throats.
C: getting together to watch a movie and have dinner in Kim Gary or equivalent.
D: getting together in mamak making lots and lots of noise.
E: getting together for a game of futsal with lots of bashing up to do.
F: getting together for a game of PS2 (best bonding ever)
Ok, the list is long... and I don't see IMU BALL in that list. I have done almost all of the above with my batchmates, I have bonded very well with all of them...so the Ball is not needed to have bonding with my batchmates.
Bullshit No. 2: Ball is Fun.
How much fun can there be parading around in a suit/dress that is suffocating you all the time, not to mention that fucking suit cost a fucking vault of gold? How much fun can you have when you have to be self-conscious all thru the time?
"Does this red bra suits my red dress?"
"Is my tummy showing too much?"
"Is my butt too big?"
"Is that group of ppl laughing at how breastless I am?"
"Is this dress too short?"
"Damn, I should have gotten that other dress."
"Hey, that bitch has the same dress as me!!!"
"Does this earrings match my shoes?"
"Shit, I wore the wrong panties!"
"Does my hair style match my bra?"
"This necklace is not as beautiful as hers!!!"
"Ahh shit, I forgot to shave my armpits/wax my legs..."
"Ahhh!!!! My RM750 dress ruined cos its raining!!!"
"Fuck, I tore my dress when Mr. So-so stepped on its trail."
The list goes on and on!!! You get my point. How much fun can it be with all these eyes on you, judging you, and you being so self-conscious of them.
Bullshit No. 3: The Ball ticket is RM90. Very cheap.
Sure, RM90 is cheap, and you attend the Ball in jeans, Tshirt and sneakers. Sure, its only RM90, you just pay for tickets, don't have to buy dress/suit and shoes and other what nots.
Read out YeeP's yeepings on how much money is spent just to attend a bloody ball.
RM90 for a ticket to something that is not fun and probably not enjoyable.
RM200++ for a bloody dress, tailored or off the shelf. Usually people go for tailored dress (if you buy off the shelf, chances maybe someone has the same dress at the ball. Paiseh ma). I've friends whose dress reaches the upper range of RM700 (fuck, why so expensive for) and I used to think only these type of girls are crazy (or dumb) enough until I see a GUY friend with a suit costing RM650. Damn, these people are either dirty rich or just plain moronic.
RM200+++ for accessories. People are just not satisfied with normal bracelet or earrings. Must go for Diamonds&Platinum, or Tiffany Co., or Cartier or Swavrowski... shit man. Guys load themselves with Tag Heur watches, Tiffany Co. cufflinks... Come to think of it... I won't mind a Tiffany pendant myself... hehe...
RM100+++ for shoes. Cannot wear normal shoes, must buy matching the dress, the panties, the bra and the hair. So like that la.
RM100+++ for handbags. Bags almost must match the dress, the panties, the bra and the hair. If red, everything also mah red. If black, lagi better, can reuse the whole thing for someone's funeral.
RM100+++ for hair and makeup. These girls just can't do anything themselves, can't they? Must pay for hairstylist and makeup lagi. I'm allergic to makeup, so sorryla, but putting make up, isn't it just applying some powder here and there, lipsticks, some mascara, some rouge... I hate makeup. Reminds me of CLOWNS!!!
RM200+++ Misc. Like going for waxing, for padicure, u know la... all the bullshit things.
And guys can never forget the flowers for their dates, the cars and petrol (limosine if you are rich enough) and other things like soft music in the car and champagne(its a long drive to Putrajaya). Or maybe a diamond necklace to impress the girls... who knows.
Total expenditure: RM1000++++ spent on one night. Just ONE fucking night. Spending RM1000+++ to parade around like a moron and looking like a fool. I can do the same for free.
Not to mention the post-balls party where there is a lot of booze, a lot of drunks, a lot of sex... and of course MORE MONEY spent.
So I've cleared the clouds over the truth that is the IMU Ball and why I am NOT going to the ball?
Reason 1: I don't look good in a dress. I'll go in jeans and Tshirt if I'm ever going. I'm too short and a little on the chubby side to look good in a dress, so why make a fool of myself?
Reason 2: I have not so much money to spend so frivolously on a one night thing. RM1000 can be spent on better things which last forever, like BOOKS!!! and my PSP!!!
Reason 3: Getting a dress is real hassle. I have friends rushing all the way down to Seremban to get a dress done. Then there is the fitting and adjusting and matching of shoes, bra and panties, not to mention the hair and the makeup.
Reason 4: I simply don't want to go. Cannot ah???
Going to the ball is so much easier if you are guy, I think. You don't have to care about the dress. Or the shoes and makeup and accessories for that matter. You just need to worry about the car, the flowers, the champagne and how to complement your partner (man, its tough too.)
Males: Suit can be reused over and over again. Suits can be hand-me-downs from Dad.
Females: Dress can be only wear once. It's an embarrassment to be seen in the same dress again.
Me?: I wear Tshirt and khakis, wear the same style everyday.
At the ball, when someone (unfortunately) wears the same thing as you.
Male: "Hey, same suit. This is so totally cool! Ya my bro man. Brothers for life."
Female: "Hey, same dress. This is so totally NOT cool! This dress looks so much more beautiful on ME than on you. You copied my dress. Bitch"
For the females, the Ball is not a social gathering, its a battlezones between beauties. Terrible right? The male of the species just hang about, enjoying the night, while the female of the species will constantly be on alert to any other hostile females. Sheesh...
So in the end... I'm still NOT going to the ball. So there.
Sex and Ball, Sex and Ball, Sex and Ball... sigh...
Life's tough. Repro sucks. Gonna sign off now.
...Do you guys just have too much free time on your hands?
- Billy (to Seraphita and Tolone), Xenogears
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