The Road through my Fucked Up Life.

Road paved on 4:03 PM |

Bored...

Bored and having nothing to do, I decided to blog about something I found from Yee Pei's blog. It's a horoscope reader, combining Eastern and Western Zodiac.

And this is my reading.

Profound, thoughtful, and reflective, you've always got something important on your mind. From a very early age, you may have been determined to make your mark on the world. You're determined not to be average in any way. Folks sense that you have a special destiny and probably set you apart from the crowd. Sometimes this can feel isolating, sometimes gratify , it all depends on the situation. As you get older, you will enjoy being treated differently.

You need a job that requires you to take frequent inventory of your own feelings. Being an actor, writer, or performance artist are all possibilities for you. You would also make an excellent psychotherapist. Whatever career you choose, it should thaw on your integrity. Steer clear of advertising and sales like the plague you're too honest. Utterly unique, your greatest challenge is to come to terms with your distinction. There's no point for a peacock like you to blend in with a bunch of sparrows. Your biggest strength is your honesty. You mean what you say and say what you mean.

Taking a holistic approach to your health is probably wise. Alternative therapies like acupuncture, reiki and refiexology can keep you in top condition. Your mind, body, and spirit are intricately connected. Medical problems can be manifestations of a spiritual issue while emotional anxieties could have their source in a physical injury. Keep an open mind when it comes to combining Eastern and Western approaches to medicine; you'll get benefits from both schools of thought.

You probably have a great many eccentrics among your friends. Ariens, Geminis, Sagittarians, and Aquarians help you appreciate your own unique qualities. With regard to love, you need a mate who is artistic, flamboyant, and spontaneous. Dull, dependable types leave you cold.

Hmmm... i know I'm not supposed to believe in this, but it seems interesting. Lemme break it down for you guys.

Profound, thoughtful, and reflective, you've always got something important on your mind.
Hmm... this is quite true, tat is if you count PS2 strategies and 'ways to relax' important.

From a very early age, you may have been determined to make your mark on the world.
Yup, my ambition is to win the Nobel Prize by finding the cure for AIDS.

You're determined not to be average in any way.
This is true, in all fields except studies.

Folks sense that you have a special destiny and probably set you apart from the crowd. Sometimes this can feel isolating, sometimes gratify , it all depends on the situation.
Haha, I have special destiny, duh, that is like so obvious. Dint u know that when I was born, the Heavens and entire level of Hell were in an uproar. The moment I exited my mother's womb, the breaking of the World began. That proves that I hold a great destiny within me.

As you get older, you will enjoy being treated differently.
Yup, hate to be average. I like being treated differently, cos I aint your average girl.

You need a job that requires you to take frequent inventory of your own feelings. Being an actor, writer, or performance artist are all possibilities for you. You would also make an excellent psychotherapist. Whatever career you choose, it should thaw on your integrity. Steer clear of advertising and sales like the plague you're too honest.
This advice came too late. Shucks. A psychotherapist? I don't mind a being a forensic/criminopsychologist tho. And the last sentence is so true, aint good in sales. Probably belasah the customer to kingdom come.

Utterly unique, your greatest challenge is to come to terms with your distinction. There's no point for a peacock like you to blend in with a bunch of sparrows. Your biggest strength is your honesty. You mean what you say and say what you mean.
Haha, a peacock among sparrows eh? KEMBANG...


Taking a holistic approach to your health is probably wise. Alternative therapies like acupuncture, reiki and refiexology can keep you in top condition. Your mind, body, and spirit are intricately connected. Medical problems can be manifestations of a spiritual issue while emotional anxieties could have their source in a physical injury. Keep an open mind when it comes to combining Eastern and Western approaches to medicine; you'll get benefits from both schools of thought.
Western and Eastern medicine contradicts each other. A chinese doctor prohibits my dad from eating meat and eggs, eat only vege and the next day a western doctor tells my dad to load up on the meat and eggs, take alot of them. So who the follow? Well, my choice... can be seen in the career im going after.

You probably have a great many eccentrics among your friends. Ariens, Geminis, Sagittarians, and Aquarians help you appreciate your own unique qualities.
Great many eccentrics, hear, hear. My friends sure are weird ppl, but they are still my friends. I like them eccentric.

With regard to love, you need a mate who is artistic, flamboyant, and spontaneous. Dull, dependable types leave you cold.
Hmm...


So in the end, izzit true? Hard to say, but this type of things... haiya, don take too seriously la.

chaos: There are those who draw well, and those who run fast. Hammer's navigational skills are top-notch, and his knowledge of the Net is vast. Tony's helmsmanship skills are unrivaled. No one even comes close. ...Or so he claims. The Captain... Well, no one holds a greater amount of debt than the Captain.
Capt. Matthews: [starts to nod] Ahh, yes... Hey, wait a second!
- Xenosaga I

We passed by on 4:03 PM |

Road paved on 1:07 PM |

Complacency? I don't think so.

It's been a full week since we got our results and this one week gave me a chance to sit back, look around, talk to my exam-mates and read a few blogs. A really eye opening week.

And my, we do have many types of exam-mates around. Basically, it boils down to this two.
Type 1: "I passed, God is good, I passed!!!
Type 2: "Shit fucking A-!! $^&*!!"

I've seen friends patting themselves on the back for the results they have, may it be a B or a A-. But there are some who grinched about their 'meager' A-, even to the extent of coming up with excuses that examiners are not fair, or about if they hadn't do this, or do that, or whatever.

I think its dumb. A-????!!! You guys have A- and you guys complain??

For the benefits of my non-imu passengers, let me explain how our point system works.

A : above 80. Well, fine, this is the best.
A-: 75-79.9. Only 0.1 pt from an A.
B+: 70-74.5. Still not that bad right?
B : 65-69.9. You still pass. and still a 0.1 pt from a B+.
B-: 60-64.5. Basically anything below this is a fail. So i wont touch on this.

Now to get unto the Dean's List, is a pretty stupid process. You must not fail any exams and in the EoS, you have to get at least A-. It's an elimination process and I got eliminated in my first EoS with a 74%. Sad right? But who cares?

Coming back to my point.

What's the diff between A- and A? NOTHING!!! You are still in the Dean's List and fine with that. So what are these ppl complaining about?

"Self satisfaction," they say. "Ignorant bullshit!" I say. Satisfaction? I ask when will humans be every satisfied? Get an A and they'll wonder "Is it a high A or a low A?" What the fuck? There are some who expected a B+, got an A- and STILL COMPLAIN!!! WHAT THE FUCKING HELL???? I still can understand if you expect an A and got a B+, but this??? OUTRAGEOUS!!

Richard told me that "If you do something, do it to the best." He gave an analogy. Let's say those who fail, dies; and those who pass, alive. So those who are alive must reach for higher ranks. They have to live with dignity.

Well, I told him, "Be thankful you are even alive. You hover at the brink of death and you are given a chance to be alive. It's enough. A live beggar is better than a dead beggar."

And he said, "Complacency."

And I replied, "What has two thumbs and do not care? Me."

I would understand if you complain about a A- if your parents promised you a RM1000 or something like a new Ferrari or Porche for an A, but self-satisfaction? Argh!!! Just admit you want to be better than the rest.


I used to hate this type of people, the type that complains of things that they have when there are people who would give anything to have the things they have. I used to think what little ungracious boorish bastards they are. But then I realised, they shouldn't evoke hate from me, but pity and symphathy. Pity that they have not grew up from the kiasuness all of us have instilled in us since very young by our parents (adults are stupid).

I admit, I used to be like that. In Std 1, when I first got first in class, my childish mind knew that I was in a race and had to stay first. So for the next 6 years, I got 1st, by hook or crook. The race wasn't easy, with the best minds nipping so close to my heel. My best friend, (kudos Cass), then a future-Asean-scholor was always so near to me, coming in 2nd. But I found it FUN. The key word here is FUN. I had FUN staying ahead, taunting my friends to come touch me. And to get the praises and glamour? Whew, that was FUN!!!

Then I realised something. It just came like a bolt from the blue. My grandma used to promised all my other cousins that if they get top FIVE, FIVE not first, they'll get a reward. Me? They do not dare to promise cause I'll get it. So if I get first I get nothing? What the hell? I'll come home with news that I get 1st again and my mom will just nod and went on with life. Soon it got really bored. And i'm getting discouraged.

I get 1st I get nothing. I get 2nd and I get a scolding. Such is a fucked up life. I get 6As for PMR and a grounding, my sis get 6As and got RM100 per A.

By then I realised that it was entirely my fault. If i had not been so smart in my younger years, I won't be pressured to do better and better. People are just not satisfied, my parents the same. I had a reputation to protect, but is this reputation worth it? I'm unhappy, angsty, forcing myself to study, for NOTHING!!! It was just not worth it. Just not fucking worth the time I could have live my life better.

The change happened in Form 4 after I got my PMR results. I grew up then. I realised that there is more to life than just studying and slogging your way through all the books. For what? So you can get a nice cert which says you passed SPM? So? Does it really made a difference? Richard has 9A1s, I have way less, yet I'm still here with him studying medicine. Even if I had gotten 10A1s, i would have still not gotten JPA scholarship, cos I never knew of such scholarship until the results came out.

So I ask again, does it make a difference? *shrug* In my life, no. Not sure about yours.


For me now, getting a B or a A- made no difference. I passed. Who cares? It won't show up on my certs, my patients wont know how well or how bad i did in school. And my friends and family no longer cared too. There is no more encouragement to go get an A or score high in an exam. It is now all the same. I just do well enough to put me in a good school and come out with a decent job, and still live happily.

It's not like I'm not studying. It's just that I set lower standards from myself now. When I first stepped into IMU, my aim was to do well enough just to be on the Dean's List. Now since I'm off the Dean's List, I'll just do well enough to pass everything. At least I have some dignity to stay alive. But going thru crazy studying sessions, like spending 15 fucking hours studying just to get an A? Hell, NO! I still come out a doctor, same like any A scoring guy. My cert may be same as them, bearing the degree MBBS. My patients would not even know that he is a A scholar, while I am just an average student. So why force myself? I study enough to get a B or a B+, anything higher is God-given and a plus and another reason to celebrate.

And no matter what, I'm satisfied with whatever results I have. You won't see me sulking in one corner just because I have a B, you won't see me wallowing in self-pity just because I did not get an A. Any results is given to me by God and I'm happy with it. This result I hold in my hands, this B... i did not deserve it cos I did not study hard for it, but it is God given and I'm satisfied.

God gave us our lives, and living our life to the fullest is the greatest praise to Him, no matter how fucked up it is. Realistically, yes, we do have to study. But by doing things that we love, that is living. Studying is something NONE of us love, so if our whole life is dedicated to studying, it is a sad case indeed. Sure you can praise and glorify God with that A, but if you destroy your life in the process, complaining about the results God gave to you?

I ask you, which is the bigger sin?


So in the end, I may be complacent, but I'm happy and SATISFIED!! And that is what it really matters. I have finally grew up from being a kiasu kid to one who is satisfied with life and the things God gave to me.

Or I may be just in denial and lazy.

To live is not a sin, but to remain ignorant is.
- Sarah, Ceremonial Site, Suikoden III

We passed by on 1:07 PM |

Road paved on 7:30 PM |

What I do during Holiday?

Sigh... the holidays have finally begun, and what does your Captain intend to drive thru?

Your Captain is now working to earn money enough to go on a diving trip to Perhentian. Some people wonder why work when you can just enjoy and sleep the day away. Well... let's just say I have a very nagging mother.

But working ain't all that bad. I argued it out with Agong the other day on MSN which I was using from my workplace as I am doing my work.

My pay is bout RM600 to RM750 per month, seeing how is business going for the year. Working at a supermarket barely nets you RM400. (Tho I know some ppl who get to earn RM1000 just by scooping ice cream or just by doing filing). And as CNY approaches, I even get angpows from most of the customers and of cos my boss. Like last year, this guy (cute, young, boss of a huge printing company but married) gave me an angpow of RM50 tho I only knew him for 3 weeks. He said becos I cute. Hehe...

And another plus is limitless broadband connection.

I: I have broadband connection for free.
A: I also got. I'm in auntie's house and using her broadband, for free.
I: But I'm paid just to MSN u all day long.
A: But I don have a boss breathing down my neck.
I: The boss is my mom's fren. So it's not tat bad.
A: Nepotism. Cronyism.
I: What? I'm a yougn illiterate girl. Do not use bombastic words. What they mean?
A: You don't know?
I: No. Teach me. You are the mommmy. You are responsible to teach me.
A: Are you sure u wan me to teach u?
I: ... on second tots... just tell me the meaning of the two words.
A: (she explained, but cannot remember. Its about giving priviledges to close friends.)
I: Oh... but I bet you do it too. Everyone does it.
A: I dont. I'm an honorable girl.

Sure... Agong, watever you say. Hehe.

That part of the conversation ended with
A: You are so cute, Elena. I like you.
I: Haha, I know. I am cute and very likable.


But its HOLIDAY, no? I have to at least do something other thing other than just working. Agong complains of having a boring holiday. So I challenge her to write a novel / short story as I knew her English is VERY VERY VERY good. (You can see it from the bombastic jargons she uses in her daily conversation)

A: About what?
I: Hmmm... write a story about ... ... ... ME? Cos I very cute and likable
A: Boring. Would you write a book on archealogy?
I: Boring.
A: Precisely.
I: WHAT??!!!! You comparing me to a fossil? A 100000000 year old bone?

So what am I going to do during this holidays other than working...

Holiday's resolution. Things must be done/wished to be done before school reopens:

1. Finish Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater. This is going to be tough as I am working and only can play during weekends. But will try to sneak in a couple of hours everyday.

2. Finish read-proofing my book. Almost just a couple of chapters to go and then its ready for printing.

3. Finish and touch up book. This is terrible. All the battle scenes not completed, damn.

4. At least partially complete another novel. This is lagi bad. Have the idea, but lazy to type it out, hehe.

5. Finish up 3 sins. Bet you want tis eh, Raymond? Will send it to you when I'm done.

6. Earn enough money to go scuba diving : RM600. This is one month pay. So guys out there, any day now, a diving trip to somewhere. Wat bout Phuket? Hehe.

7. Earn enough money to buy PSP: (RM1800) Damn. 1800 fucking RM. How the hell to collect so much??? And can't have pirated games. That is like RM200 per game. Killer right? But I want Metal Gear Acid.

8. Finish Jigsaw Puzzle. I'm like 3/4 thru with it. I like the puzzle. Its from Kingdom Hearts.

9. Tons of books to read, but no money to buy them. Sigh... looks like I must go on a borrowing spree. Anyone?

10. Replenish life energy WASTED during the whole semester.

And of course not to forget the trip to Chennai. Still pending parental approval tho. Must work harder on it. *goes on knees* God, you made me pass this exam, is it Your will that I go to Chennai with my friends? *sigh*


Ok, gonna sign off now. Works over. gotta head home to my PS2. Your captain is flying again. YAY!!!!

"Wait," he says... Do I look like a waiter?
- Kefka, Final Fantasy VI

We passed by on 7:30 PM |

Road paved on 1:10 PM |

Worlds Debating Championship Finals

World's Debating Championship Finals is on the same day we had our SAQ paper. I was so pissed with how I did the paper that I decided to go for the finals with Yee Pei and Sheena.

The finals is in KL. We took the LRT and got partially lost getting to the venue. We first ran towards Ibu Pejabat DBKL when Sheena said that it was wrong and it was supposed to be at Panggung DBKL. So we continued running across the roads like chickens, making one huge round. Then at Panggung DBKL, they said that it was at Ibu Pejabat DBKL. So we continued running another circle. Felt like a fool, but what the heck.

Arrived late and no suprise, the thing had not even started. Three of us managed to squeeze a seat and our seats were pretty good in a fully packed Audi. Then about half an hour later, the MC went on stage. She's a Malay (no offence to Malay passengers) and we were cheering because it was finally about to start. But she just stood there like a dumb dumb, just smiling that stupid smile and not saying anything. So the crowd was like, "On your own time Madam." "Some time before Christmas will be good." "No pressure Mam, no pressure". I went like "Some time before I go back to study for OSPE!"

And after a few minutes she finally spoke, "Ujian suara, ujian suara." What the heck?!!! Then she went off stage and came on again after another 10 minutes. But again, she said nothing, so the crowd took its initiative to entertain themselves.

This Irish guy stood up at where he was and invited the rest of his mates to come up and sing with him. His public relation skills are like, wow. Some of his mates came and they started singing, getting the whole crowd to clap with them. They repeated the song over and over again.

Then the whisper started up, "She is still there?" "Not gone yet?" Apparently, they were trying to chase her off stage which she finally took the hint and went off stage. That started a general laughter, but still no starting of the debate. Finally the same Irish guy got up and started singing "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot" with all the funny actions, urging the crowd to follow him do the action. Damn many actually did, Sheena being one of them. And I'm guilty of it too. Hehe...

Logan finally went on stage and got the crowd to settle down. And then we heard the MC and nearly wept. Her English was bad. I was like, why the hell her? Why not just get Tate to do it. But thank God she only spoke like a few lines and debate started.

Opening Gov: Ottawa Law
Opening Opp: Hart's House, Toronto
Closing Gov: Oxford D
Opening Gov: Cambridge D

Talk about an exciting closing half. The motion was "This house will bring back Corporal Punishment into School." For those blur people (like me) Corporal Punishment is whacking and whipping punishment and was taken away from schools a few years back.

Well, Ottawa Law red headed Prime Minister came up with this outrageous mechanism. Before that, he started his speech with, "They put make up on me, but this red hair is real." His mechanism: Make corporal punishment mandatory in all schools, public and private, for children age 4 to 12. The student will be taken into a separate room away from his peers. The teacher who wanted the punishment will watch while someone else will perform it. There will be nurses around to make sure no permenant damage is done to the students. There will be reports to justify the punishment and it will be kept in a file.

When we heard the mechanism, we were like WHAT??? And they actually won the debate. Wow.

The most quotable quote is from this Harry Potter loook alike from Oxford. His point was that the teachers and parents will love corporal punishment. His closing line - in that deep British accent - "The teachers will love it, the parents will love, and the students will just bloody hell have to accept it."

Hear, hear.

This should be fun. When do we leave?

We passed by on 1:10 PM |

Road paved on 12:56 PM |

End of Semester Examination.

Ladies and gentlemen, my dear passengers...

I am pleased to announce that I PASSED!!!! I actually passed. GOD IS GOOD!!!! AMEN!!!! I mean, looking back at the exam time, whew... i was pretty sure I would fail. But God seemed to be telling me over and over again that if i don't get on viva, i will pass. And I sure did. Somehow i knew i would pass, but that slight doubt lurking at the back of my mind... sigh... when will I truly just let go and let God handle everything?

Want to know how I did during the exams? Read on below.


Day one - Short Answers Question (I failed this btw)
The day before I realised that I did not have any Community Medicine notes that I went online and MSN Yee Pei to scan her notes to me. But she doesn't have a scanner so I did not bother to study ComMed and leave it up to God.

As for the exam itself, tt was so bad that I wanted to cry as I read through the questions. All around me I could hear people going "Shit! Shit! Shit!" But I had to admit that I had fun answering some of the questions. I mean you have to do something when you are bored right?

Q: What do you understand by Primary Intention Healing, Secondary Intention Healing?Real Answer: Primary intention wounds are associated with minimal tissue loss and the wounds can be closed easily. Secondary intention wounds are hard to heal and close up, leaving scars.
My answer: Primary intention healing, first intention is to heal, then only we think of what to do. In secondary intention healing, to heal is the 2nd intention, before that we have to do other things for example remove causative agents.

Q: A haemophilia patient is transfused with HIV positive blood. Give 4 psychological aspect he undergoes and explain why.
My answer: Anger - "I have haemophilia. Now I have AIDS. Damn!"
Denial - "No la, cannot be. Must be mistake."

Q: What is perforating veins?
My answer: Veins that perforates.

And I went to Worlds Debating Championship Finals with Sheena and Yee Pei, despite another paper tomorrow. Care la.


Day Two. Objective Structured Practical Exam (I passed this paper with a B+, surprisingly as i tot i did worse here)
I realised again that I did not have any Parasites slides or notes to study. So on the day itself, went to school early and studied Parasites. Thank God for Irene and Shi Ching, for if its not for their last minute cramming of things into my head, I swear I would have failed that paper. But thanks to them, all parasites questions could be answered fairly well.
But then again, I lost 30 marks for 3 questions which I filled with dumb answers. Like the one with a graph of the girls weight flactuating up and down so much and her teeth being so ugly.

Q: What is the eating disorder?
Real Answer: Bulimia
My Answer: Picky eater

Q: Why is her teeth in that condition?
Real Answer: She throws up and the acid effects the teeth.
My Answer: She doesn't like milk, so no calcium. Thus she has ugly teeth.

Then after OSPE, it was like the exam was already over despite the fact that OSCE is the next day. But I did not care. Me, Vasan, YP, Sheena and CK went out for lunch together, we spent the day talking crap. I did not even study when I went home. Started playing MGS3 (which is an awesome game, TZ, really).


Day Three. Objective Structured Clinical Examination (This is the most exciting part of the whole exam, and one of the worst. Passed it tho with a B+. I know its poor, but who the hell cares)
Then the next morning, I only started revising only during quarantine time. I managed to get everything down flat and was quite confident to enter the room. On the way down, I realized I did not have a watch, and managed to talk Ms. Zuhrah Beevi into lending hers to me, which was a lucky thing because there was a pulse rate station.

At first everything was going fine. Dr. Jac was perfect, she was like urging me to hurry up, and i managed to finish with a minute to spare. I went "What? So fast?" After the history taking station, it was another clinical examintion. I opened the door and saw Dr. Juriah. Her face changed as I entered the room. Bad sign. For those who doesn't know why I have bad rapport with her, please read here.

Then I enter the gay's room and that was when everything went down to Hell and never came back up again. When I entered the room, the first thing that came to my mind was, "Who the hell are you?" I greeted the patient and the gay was sitting at the chair in that gay style (you know cross legged and chin resting on hand). He asked me to do liver cirrhosis in that voice that was so gay!

I did not know what to do at first, so I took the hands and did capillary refill. I know it was wrong, but the way he reprimanded me really pissed me off.

Gay: *waving his hand around* Why take capillary refill?
I released the fingers and bullshitted which resulted in more scolding. I finally gave up and released the patients hand. The patient went "Ouch" and I went "What the fuck?" The gay piece of shit started scolding and yelling again.

Throughout the whole thing, he was like "Your friends do like that, why you do like that? You no practice la. Wrong. Wrong." Holy shit, if you have someone yelling at you, you'll start to panic right? I started to lose my temper and argued all the way. Who the hell cares anyway? And when I felt for the bone to do pitting edema, I was FEELING, the patient said "Ouch". That gay bastard started up again and the buzzer went, thank God. I just turned my back and stormed out of the room without even thanking to both patient and doctor.

In my opinion, they deserve no thanks. Fail mah fail, I fucking care ah? To quote CK: "What has 2 thumbs and do not care? ME!" After all, fail one station, lose only one mark. That wrinkled atrophied testicle of a sterile donkey disguised in a poor excuse of a man can go eat shit for all I care. If all gays were like that, no wonder the world stigmatise against them.

I met him again down at CSU, he was with some other lecturers. Greeted all of them except him. To me, he deserve no acknowledgement from me.

The next day, lagi relax. We were playing Chua Tai Ti in the quarantine, eating Suk Yee's mom delicious Maggi Mee goreng. It was like exam is already over.

In OSCE, I nearly had a heart attack when I saw Tin Ong. I began hyperventilating and had to sit myself down before I faint. Kononnya earlier, our stream was to get Tin Ong, Archiekin and Dr. Tim Song. Terror stream. Poor Chee Shang got all three before Dr. Tim went to complain. Tin Ong is bad enough, plus Archiekin? Everyone will cry!

Tin Ong shifted the patient round so the left was to the door. As a rule, you stand on the patient's left and you fail right away. I entered the room, Tin Ong asked me to stick the sticker on the score chart and I took the opportunity to see what I was to do. Hehe. Then I took one whole minute to figure out which was the patient's right. I stood at the foot of the bed and debated which was my left and my right. Hehe. And then the questions were right across the room, which resulted in me running back and forth to read the questions.

So unprofessional. But at least he did not say anything.

Then in Dr. Srikumar's room, I made mistakes like using Good morning all the time (it was like 3 o'clock in the afternoon). We(dr, patient and me) were laughing throughout the whole thing. But it was ok in the end.

thank God for Dr. Tim Song. I'll never doubt Sheena again when she says that the Doctor is the best around. He was so good. I entered the room praying. His station was about GI and he asked me the four lines that marks the border of each region. I did not know at all. It was somewhere in there in my brain, but I could not drag it out. So he kindly passed that and I did everything else before coming back to the question. I answered the vertical lines, but I could not remember the horizontal lines.

Dr: Come on Elena, you know this.
I: I'm sorry Dr, I'll tembak. Upper lateral and Lower lateral lines.
The buzzer went and I passed. Thank the Al-Mighty.


And that is the end of the Exams. And what did we do right after that?

We went to watch movie. Phantom of Opera again, and I'm still quite happy with the show. I'm practically hooked to it. My godson's mother cried two times. Talk about drama. And there was some idiots talking halfway through the show. My godson's mother actually shouted, "Oi, shut up la."

Mana tau, it was the Bangladesh workers sitting at the stairs talking. Wahlaueh. We went to complain and GSC actually offered to refund, but YK and Jody went, "We complain not to get refund."

Bodoh.


Now finally I am free, and what could be better? Maybe going to India with YP and Grace for electives, tho Richard is so persistant that I don't go. Grace has given the Visa from to Richard on Monday. I've seen him 3 times since then, and everytime i ask for it, he comes up with all kind of excuses. Sheesh!!! That's wat u get wen you get an over-protective boyfriend.

Ok, gonna go out for lunch soon and then there is celebration tonight!!! Richard is going to belanja me eat big meal, yay!!! Sheena, you passed, what your boyfriend give you???!!! Hehe...

Ok, now in super hypermode and going to go kacau ppl. See you guys soon.

Lah lala lalah!
I don't need a recipe book
Because I'm the happy cook
Who feeds the people gook!

We passed by on 12:56 PM |

Road paved on 12:47 PM |

My Appreciation Lists

As the frantic 2 weeks drew close, I just want to thank these people who had helped me and supported me to where I am now.

1. GOD!!!
Without His blessings, I will never have gotten thru this exam. Without His strength holding me on, I would have given up earlier. But I can do all things thru Christ who strengthens. He helped me seek favour in the eyes of the examiners, He gave held me when I needed him most. Thank you, God.

My heart is steadfast, O God,
my heart is steadfast;
I will sing and make music.
Awake, my soul!
Awake, harp and lyre!
I will awaken the dawn.

I will praise you, O Lord, among the nations;
I will sing of you among the peoples.
For great is your love, reaching to the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches to the skies.
Be exalted, O God, above the heavens;
let your glory be over all the earth.
Psalm 57 :7-11

2. Family
Thank you to my mom and dad who prepared ginseng and bird nest soup for me thru out the time I was studying. Tho they did not know I had an exam till two weeks before, I still want to thank them.

3. Richard Gerald Lee Yew Min
Thank you, Rich, for your tutoring these past year. Without them I would have failed summatives and in the end fail this exam. But because of your constant nagging to study and your notes, I passed. Thank you for the notes you lended to me on the risk of not seeing them again, and I am really happy with the notes. And that promise of a treat, if it had come earlier, i would have scored better. But then it is good enough. Thank you.

4. M2/03 CG Members - Grace, Agong, Caryn, HiangLiang, TJ, Sushi, Collin, Daniel, Jody, Rich.
Thank you to my CG mates who prayed along with me and prayed for me. We've been together thru thick and thin together, we've helped each other along. And I love the close bonds we have with each other. Thank you guys. You guys are the best.

5. Tan Shi Ching & Irene Ti Lian Lian
These two ppl are the one who gave me a 15 minutes crash-course in parasites before OSPE. And it really helped. Irene, I'll never forget your pink condom for Wanchuria Bancrofti. And Sushi, that malaria course helped alot. Thank you guys, really appreciated it.

6. Sheena Sarah Toyat & Song Yee Pei
Thank you for their constant nagging to study and practice. Had fun with you guys on Debate Finals. Woo hoo!!! Sydney, here we come!!!

7. Dr. Timothy Song
Thank you sir for your OSCE session. Thank you for helping me along. *bows* thank you.

8. Well-wishers and good-luckers and those who prayed for us.
Thank you guys, for all the good lucks and all those prayers. Keep up the good work.

And to those I missed, sorry, and a really big THANK YOU!!!!

YAY!!!! I PASSED!!!

A field trip we will go!
A field trip we will go!
Hi-ho the merry-o,
a field trip we will go!

We passed by on 12:47 PM |

Road paved on 12:12 PM |

We Are Free Men!!!

This seems to be a moment that requires a speech, but a speech to me, means something that has been prepared for the ears of strangers, and after all that we have been through together, I think that none of us are strangers now.

We have fought a terrible foe, and we have won. We are all now free men, our flag of freedomm raised above us in the sweet air of freedom. Yes, my brothers in arm, we have won. And it has been at a cost that none of us would willingly have paid. All of us have lost something in this war, may it be a friend, a brother, or a future, all of us have lost something precious here.

But M2/03 lives, we live, and together, we will make certain to be worthy of their sacrifice.

This day, we stand together under this flag of freedom, but along this path we chose, enemies will be sure to rise again. But we have proved today that together, there is no foe that can stand against us, and no matter the odds, we will prevail!

Perhaps some day, when our losses are not so fresh, our wounds are not so raw, we will be able to look back on our victory as a victory, with more pride than sorrow. And we should. It was not only the sacrifice of every single person who perished or was wounded that won the day, it was also the sacrifice of every one of you who held a weapon, who wielded their power, who tended a beast, kept us fed, or served any other task here.

The victory belongs to all of you, and never, ever let anyone tell you differently.

And even if the enemy had won here - which they did not - they would never have really won, for M2/03 is more than a batch, M2/03 is the students, and the spirit that lives in those students, and my fellow men, that spirit can never be conquered.

Our brothers who gave their lives for our cause, they knew that, and they trusted to that spirit to carry on, not matter what happened to them. You have show that the spirit is alive in all of you, and they could have no better tribute than that, nor would they have asked for anything more.

And I do not ask for anything less.

And now let us tender to them our final service, let's bring them home and into the freedom they seek. For them, let us ride to greet this freedom. One day we will be called to pick up our arms again, but till then, my men, you are FREE!!!

The one who attains the dawn, the dusk, and the
darkness shall climb the path to heaven...

We passed by on 12:12 PM |

Road paved on 3:00 PM |

Day Eight.

This is Confederate Messenger EH, bringing a message from General Elena from the Capital of the EoS. Will you accept this letter, captain?

Dear friend,

My greatest joy is that my men had not been called to arms to march to Viva, where resistance is the highest. We have just reached the capital and the arrival of the High Commander announced another long wait. It is going to be a very unsettling wait, my friend. The war is out of our hands now, and placed into the hands of the Higher Authority.

Celebration has died down among my men. They are now wary and fearful for their near future, as I am for them, and for myself. My home beckons, freedom beckons, yet I can not return, I can not taste this freedom. My poor men are waiting, praying and hoping. These are all they can do. God help them. Their families await, their lives call for freedom, and by Lord, this freedom is rightly theirs.

As I stood on the parapet looking over the land that we had conquered, I wonder, will this freedom really be ours? When will we be called to arms again? Will we even win this war? But what can I do? What can we do but wait? God help us now. Pray for us, my friend.

Sending out messages are getting harder now. Resistant groups are cropping up everywhere, I dare not send my messengers on such dangerous journey, thus there will be no more messages till the victory is finally placed into our hands.

Till the war is won, I remain your friend,
General Elena How.

No cloud, no squall shall hinder us.

We passed by on 3:00 PM |

Road paved on 10:15 PM |

Day Four.

This is Confederate Messenger EH, bringing a message from General Elena from Base Camp 1. Will you accept this letter, captain?

Dear friend,

The battle is finally over, the war is nearly over, and my men would be able to return to their families. The sweet smell of freedom is so close, so tantalising, but we know that the war is not over till we can confirm that the enemy has been defeated.

My men returned from the north with news that Respi and CVS are disengaging and scattering to the four winds. From the west came news that GI have routed, while a few more guerilla groups lay hidden in the surrounding jungles. Scouts have been sent out to reconnoiter the surrounding areas. And by God's grace, this war would truly be over, with us emerging victory.

Reinforcements are being sent in now, from what I heard from the High General, but till then, I fear I would not be returning. But bear no worries, my friend, for there would be no more fighting, just waiting, something I was never be able to do. My men are exhausted, our resources at bare minimum, but the spirit is high. The flag of freedom is already raised, our banner flagged high above us.

As I sit beside a warm blazing fire, my men are outside the tent celebrating and drinking. They are once again free, and by Lord let them be free men for a little longer before they are called back to arms. My friend, freedom never smelt sweeter, and it was worth every drop of blood my men spilt, every drop of sweat my men worked. And for that freedom, they will still ride to Hell and back.

Till I return, I remain your friend,
General Elena How.

Nobody knows... In the depths... of the sea...
a tear...drop... shed by... a mermaid...

We passed by on 10:15 PM |

Road paved on 9:29 PM |

Day Three.

This is Confederate Messenger EH, bringing a message from General Elena from deep within enemies' territories. Will you accept this letter, captain?

Dear friend,

Today we finally penetrated enemy's land. It seems like we have done massive damage unto their military forces yesterday, as the resistance we fought today was weak and easily defeated. My men were in high spirits as they moved out in position towards the deeper lands of the enemies territories.

I led my group of men west deeper into more dangerous territories of Gastro-Intestinial, unaware of dangers up ahead. We managed to overcome many of the resistance groups with almost most difficulty and was about to return to our rendevous point when that Gay resistant military force came.

He challenged me and my men to battle and we would have slaughtered the entire force if not for how that idiot managed to spark my anger. My anger cost my men this victory, but it is just one group, and my men fell back, alive, surviving and ready to fight another day. I vow revenge on that Gay bastard, today or tomorrow.

As I sat here writing to you, I am watching my men prepare for the night. I have not seen their spirits higher than today. Reports came in saying that Respiratory has been overrun by our men, and Gastro-Intestinal is partly ours now. Tomorrow reinforcement will come for us and we will enter Hemato and Cardio's territory. We shall trample through their land and run them out like rats.

God be with us.

I will now go to join my men for their dinner and prepare for tomorrow's long day. At the end of tomorrow, freedom will be ours. The battle has been long, but the war is nearly won. The Flag of Freedom now waves above us, we will conquer the enemy and be free.

Till we are free men, I remain your friend,
General Elena How.

If you make me your enemy, you're making the whole world your enemy!

We passed by on 9:29 PM |

Road paved on 8:34 PM |

Day Two.

This is Confederate Messenger EH, bringing a message from General Elena from the borders of the enemy land. Will you accept this letter, captain?

Dear friend,

Our army returned today victorious, but this victory was not easy. We lost men, excellent men who died struggling to bring down the enemy with them. The dead are piling higher and higher, as we enter deeper into no man’s land. Although we have survived the battle so far, all of us have lost something dear to us. All of us have lost something, and we mourn for our dead brothers, for ourselves.

The Parasites came charging towards us just as the cock crowed. God moved the pieces here today, my friend. The strategy of placing the men came in a flash just before my men marched out to do battle. And just because of that, five of our Imperial battalions overcame the enemy and regained our advantage. But the advantage was short lived as the Generals stormed the battlefield.

Lung Cancer alone decapitated half of the 13th Defense Troop and we would have been crippled in our defenses if not for victory over CRC. But Chronic Leukemia unleashed a charge so powerful that Command Troop 1 and 7 were destroyed completely. We were taken completely unaware as Ig and Commed moved among us like a disease, taking down my men so efficiently.

Yet we have won the battle, with a heavy price to pay. My men suffered the consequences of my ignorance. It is painful, knowing that these men were lost because of my error of not predicting those attacks. As I stood watching the setting sun, my men crawling back to camp, I mourned for the lost of these excellent me. They had given their all for this banner of ours to advance. And for them, this Flag of Freedom is raised up high.

I looked over to the enemy and oh how I hate them. I hate them with every muscles of my tired Confederate body. Oh I hate them so much.

We have gone far together, my men and I. The war is nearly over, and we have survived, only to do battle the next day. But we will continue to fight. As long as breath remains in this weary body of mine, I will still lead my men to fight, and to their death. That Flag of Freedom is ours.

So my dear friend, wait not for my return. I will return when we have won this war. It won’t be long now.

Till the war is over, I remain your friend,
General Elena How.

Our reasons may be different, but our goals are the same... Peace.

We passed by on 8:34 PM |

Road paved on 4:42 PM |

Day one.

This is Confederate Messenger EH, bringing a message from General Elena of the Elena's end of the battlefield. Will you accept this letter, captain?

Dear friend,

It has been a really bad day at the battlefield. The day was dark when the first of the Necrosis charged down the slopes towards our end of the battlefield. We stood firm, the central position moving in to hold down the enemy. The first wave was a success, building up our confidence.

Two more groups marched into position, holding down our grounds as enemies poured unto us. We were doing well at first, the Generals waiting at the back as their armies marched unto us. Then when the sun was at its zenith, things turned bad. I know not how to describe the horror of the battlefield, my friend, Death swooping down unto us like a hawk unto a rat.

The Generals threw the unknown at us. We knew not of their Primary Intention of Healing. We knew not of Bybissis or Siliconis. We were taken unaware and before my very eyes, my men were cut down like grass. A swoop of Death's Reaper and they fell. But they died proud, my men. They died bringing down enemies as they fell. They fell shouting for freedom and my fellow citizens, these are the men that died for you.

It had been a dark day, a darkness had fallen before us. Our men fought hard, knife and teeth, trying to break thru the enemy, but this enemy we fight is a dangerous foe indeed. Their Generals sit back, throwing their armies like pawns against us, thousands upon thousands, and we stood firm, like the rock against the tsunamis of enemies. But for every enemy we take down, three rose to take its place. The enemy was relentless, but we too persevered.

At the end of the day, we managed to survive, barely. As I stood there, on the rock just outside the outpost, I see our men lying dead, injured, exhausted. The casualties are increasing every minute as I write this message, mounting every second I sit here contemplating our strategies. These men died for their country, they died with honor. Every single one of them are men who achieved the status of martyr, and their blood will water the meadows of Semester 3.

My men fought for their lives out there today, they fought for this very Semester they had given their lives to, they fought to stay on that path they chose. These men died not in vain, by their death, we are move ever closer to the freedom we all sought for. The road to freedom is paved with death and blood, and by their death, we will be free.

Yet tomorrow, another day, another destiny, we wonder what the battle will bring. The day had been long, our men are tired, but tomorrow, we shall rise again agasint the enemy. Tonight we will mourn for the dead, we will reorganize our strategies, we will regroup and start out again. We barely won today, we came out barely alive, but we survivors are still alive. And by Lord, we will win tomorrow.

For our fellow men who had fallen, and for ourselves.

Tomorrow the greatest of Generals will be on the field, and my friend, I ask for your prayer that you will see my men to victory, to triumph. Acute Leukemia has been seen rallying his men, and I must go now to do so, to rally my men towards victory.

Till tomorrow, I remain your friend,
General Elena.

Win and live. Lose and die. Rule of life. No change rule.

We passed by on 4:42 PM |

Road paved on 10:53 PM |

One more day...

It is just one day away before the battle. A short flight as promised over the preparations for the big battle on this side of the battlefield. We are now flying over Elena's end of the battlefield, where we have set up temporary haemostatic plug as a temporary defense mechanism. There have been encounters the whole week, the enemy is attacking harder and more frequent as the big battle drew nearer.

"All 5 drugs against TB ready and loaded, sir."

"We have problems with the defense against Parasites, sir."

"Anti-Asthmatic is faulty, sir. We can’t find spare parts for Xanthines."

"Proton pump inhibitors just collapsed on us, sir!"

Skirmishes at the border of Primary Sclerosing Cholangitis revealed enemies far stronger than expected. Giant Cells can be seen massing behind enemies’ lines. There have been reports of Granulomas gathering for a pre-emptive strike and Anemias are pulling at their leashes. Intelligence has returned with news that Gastro-Intestinals and Parasites are growing larger in numbers and looming ever closer.

Below us now is the command center of this end of the battlefield, ready to take on all 30 Questions and 24 OSPE. But all is not well. With only 12 hours away before the first strike is to be called, things are not going as well as expected. We knew we would be facing against the best Generals for this coming battle, but this is unlike anything we’ve ever encountered before. We will need a sign to rally the people, to call them to arms and to bring them in line.

The time is near, so near it’s stirring the blood in our veins. My fellow comrades, the army we fight is a dangerous foe, with the men and the arms that we never can match. But even in the darkest hour, shineth a light of the coming dawn. Even the darkest night will end, and the sun will rise. We will not go down without a fight! We will not go creeping into the night! We will stand strong together, as comrades from a world of old. Damn the enemies’ warnings, damn the enemies’ lies. They will see the people rise.

Stand strong, my fellow comrades, for we are men called to arms to defend against the enemy. Stand strong, like the rock against the tides. We will conquer the enemy, we will run them to the grounds. For I have a dream. I dream of a world where no battles are fought, no enemies to be conquered, I dream of a world where all men can live with no fear of when the next battle will be or what it will bring. I dream, my fellow citizens, of a world of freedom from battles and a world with no more fear.

But the path we chose, this path we now stand on is lined on both sides with enemies prepared to tear us down, to obstruct our way. We made our choice that very day we gave up our lives for the better good of the people. The choice is made, my friends, there is no turning back, but to march steadily on down this path. Enemies rise against us like the waves, but we will be like the rock, forever standing against the torrents.

And the next huge wave is coming, it is right where we could see it. You ask why fight if the next enemy is just waiting to rise, but my fellow men, never say it is not worth it. Because it is. Even for a little while... we can sleep in ours beds without being afraid. We can be free from the enemies, even if it is for a little while. That kind of time is worth anything. Don’t say it isn’t worth it, my men, because it is.

This coming battle will decide which path you will take, will you continue on this path towards the great shining light at the distant, or will you fall. It is time, my comrades-in-arm, time for us all to decide who we are. Have you asked of yourselves what is the price you might pay for that freedom of peace and a chance to cling on to this beam?

I ask you again, my men in arms! Do the beating of your heart echo the beating of the drums? Will you join in our crusade? Will you be strong and stand with me? Beyond this barricade, is there a world you long to see? Will you give all you can give, so that our banner will advance? Some will fall, and some will live, will you come up and take your chance?

One more day before the storm, my men, just one more day at the barricades of freedom. When our ranks begin to form, will you take your place with me? Will you join your brothers here? Do you stay; and do you dare? One day to a new beginning, every man will be a king! Raise the flag of freedom high! There’s a new world to be won! Then, my fellow men, join the fight that will give you the right to be free! Your place is here. You will fight with us!

The blood of angry men,
The dark of ages will past,
A world is about to dawn,
The night will end at last!

Tomorrow is the judgment day. Tomorrow we’ll discover what our God in Heaven has in store. Tomorrow, we will FIGHT!!!

The people who started the war are the reason. And unless you fight to
get rid of the reason, nothing will ever change. I fight to get rid of
the reason.

We passed by on 10:53 PM |