Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Getting to the BOTTOM...
Pre-S: This post was sitting in Draft for a whole week dee... sigh...
Today, dear passengers, will be a flight down your bowels to the anus through the rectum, and I will be flying you thru the dark, warm place where shit meets open air.
The flight started with a really interesting briefing by Dr. Meow... I mean Ngeow. This is the extent of the conversation in the briefing room.
Dr : When do you not do a rectal examination?
Student: When in pain...
Student: When having diarrhoea?
Student: When bleeding?
Student: When patient don wan to?
Dr. proceeded to mow all our answers to bits.
Dr : The answer is when the patient has no anus.
Students: Oooohhhhh....
Dr: Now a patient comes in with myocardial infarction. Must you do a rectal examination?
Students: Yes.
Dr: Then the patient will say "Hey, my heart up here got problem, why you go dig my backside?" (I made that up. She said sth to that extent, hehe) What will you say?
Students: Er....
I was thinking "If you don't let me dig your backside, i will not treat your MI and let you die."
Soon Liang: Because you have an anus.
Nice answer SL.
And Dr. SJ pointed out that the model's anus is not normal. We were all wondering why.
Dr: Because a normal patient's anus is not gaping wide.
Oh... now we know.
Then we had a chance to practice anal stimulation on the model. In my group is Hanisyam, funny man of my PBL. He came in, donned the gloves apply the lubricator and straight away moved for the patient.
Dr. SJ was horrified; we were rolling on the floor with laughter. Hanisyam is a guy that is so impulsive, and I think he has an obsession in putting on gloves. (In KKB, he had donned gloves, ready to help a lady give birth, but he was too late. He reached the lady and the baby plopped out). So with a slick glove on, he proceeded to ask permission from the 'patient' and explain what he was going to do, all the time rubbing his forefinger with his thumb.
If I was the patient, I would probably freak out!!!
Dr: After you withdraw your finger, you tell the patient to clean up and be sure not to wave the finger in front of him. Then turn around and inspect your finger and smell it.
Ewww....
And I noticed I CANNOT perform a good rectal examination. My digitalis appears to be too short. I was prodding, prodding, prodding, try to feel for the prostrate, when I nearly dislocated my finger. It was partly mistake on my part, but imagine if it was a real human. I was swearing as I tried to pull my finger out, and if it was a real human, he/she would probably wonder what the hell am I doing.
And I have to argue on the point Richard brought up in last sem's IVF debate.
Richard: Anus vs Vagina. Vagina is wet, warm, soft...bla bla bla.
The anal canal is lined with mucosal epithelial, thus isn't it supposed to be wet, warm, soft etc? Add the lubricant and wah lah!!! Furthermore, it is way more tighter than a vagina with TWO sphincters and lined with muscles.
Hanisyam: (Finger in the model) This feels good... very warm and tight.
I know, it doesn't sound right... but shrug...
Dr: If the patient smiles when you are doing a rectal examination, beware.
And that leads me to my next point. Hanisyam pointed out that only gays will get stimulated by anal stimulation. But I seriously don't think so. From what I read, the guy's most sensitive point is the prostrate (ie sth like the girl's G-spot) so the only way to reach the prostrate (like CSU lecturers have shown us) is through anus. So it is like so wrong to say that only gays get high on being banged from behind.
Remember JPJ's lecture on the nervous system of the GIT? The anal canal is filled with nerves too, so when this nerves receives stimulation... u ppl get the picture. And since everyone has an anus... ie guys AND girls...
Let's not get into that, shall we...
So in the end, we remove our gloves and exited the room pleased and satiated, and thoroughly well-aware of the happenings of the back door of the human body. It has truly been an eye opening journey.
Ok, gotta land the plane now. Lecture start already and tons of things to do. See you guys soon, maybe like after IMU Cup k.
I take pride in knowing nothing at all.
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