The Road through my Fucked Up Life.

Road paved on 10:37 PM |

It's only MOCK...

Yup, had Mock OSCE, and hmm... it was...not too bad actually. My mock OSCE was on Tuesday, and before going in for it, I was regaled by tales of failures and horrors by the previous batch of students that went.

A: That Tin Ong. Wahlaueh, scolding the poor boy until outside can hear.
B: Screw that Tin Ong bastard. Damn suck la.
C: Tin Ong shit la. Donno what he want us to do. Just simply scold only.

As you can see, getting Tin Ong is a big NO NO.

So on that day, during PBL, we were going through what we were supposed to do. And to our relief, we won't be getting Tin Ong as one of the lecturers. You should see the happiness in the students faces.

"But they say its Archike la."

And you should see the horror on the students' faces after that.

So we worked even harder, but I gave up after a few seconds and went out to get some fresh air. It is after all, only a MOCK...

"Hey, hey... it's not Archike!!! It's Juriah."

Man, I was hugging the bringer of good news with joy. It's only Juriah, who cares about her. It was like a huge load was off my back. I nearly wept with joy. One would think that Juriah is so lousy that I was not worried. I'll keep the comments about her to myself. After all, a certain CSU lecturer reads this blog.

We went in for briefing, and was led to the stations. To my horror, I find myself the second to enter the PE station. I was suddenly this pious nun, praying feverently for a miracle. And I looked up to see Dr. Meow enter the room. This ain't no miracle!!! My dear frequent passengers, you would now know that I have encountered Dr Meow before as my PBL faci, and a certain something happened. So too say that I was worried was an understatement. But being the Don't-Care-Elena, i did not really mind.

It is afterall, only MOCK...

So I entered the room, trying to look confident. I read the question.
A man came in with a history of bacterial endocarditis. He is suspected to have mitral stenosis.
And so???

Before I go on any further, I'll just like to confess that I have never gone for any CSU practices at all, and am proud to say that I did not do too badly.

I reread the question twice, not believing my eyes. What the hell was I supposed to do??? I gulped, turned back to the Dr and patient. I greeted the patient.

"Good morning sir. I'm Elena, 2nd year medical student. And you are..."

"Wat."

"What? Oh. Mr. Wat." I shook his hand and realised that I was supposed to wash my hands first. "Gimme a minute. I'll go wash my hand first." At this point the Dr beckoned me to start with the inspection. I made the patient comfortable, made sure he feels good and started observation. "This is a middle aged man, well-built, well-nourished..."

"Go on with the hands."

I nodded and took the patient's hands. Then I realised I forgotten to ask permission. I was like, "Damn, permission." So with the patient's hands in mine, I asked permission, got it and started doing the inspection, skipping many valuable points. Then once I reached the wrist...

"Inspect the precordium."

"What?"

"The precordium.

I stood there, blurred out. "Er... precordium?"

The Dr pointed to the chest. It was so damn embarrassing. But I went on with it. I managed to complete everything and was asked the question, which I again blanked out. Thank God for the buzzer.

I thanked the patient and dr profusely, bowing and all. And when I was about to open the door, I went, "Shit. I forgot clubbing."


So you can say that my PE was... okay. I passed actually, barely.

History-taking was a breeze, until it came to Felix. Before that, jumping from one rest station to another was plain dumb! Damn irritating and when I reached Felix, my temper was wavering.

I entered the room and he was like, "You only have 5 minutes. Don't waste time."

I grit my teeth and started to take his history. At one point, I asked him how much blood, he told me, "Half cup."

I blurted out "Half cup of blood?"

And he rolled his eyes. "Can you ask logical questions?"

Taking History from Felix is BBBBBBAAAAAAAAADDDDDDD!!!!!


After that we had debriefing session with Dr. Meow and she was actually nice, really. I mean she did not yell at us (unlike Tin Ong), she encourages us (unlike Tin Ong), she made us think through our mistakes (unlike Tin Ong). She made this Mock OSCE fun (unlike Tin Ong). And we were supposed to go up to her for some personal debriefing.

Mine:
Dr: You are reasonably good.
Me: *Nod nod*
Dr: You made the patient comfortable, your greeting is good. You bond with the patient well. You smile a lot, you keep eye contact.
Me: *Nod nod, kembang kembang*
Dr: But you lack professionalism.

Bamm. I was punctured. But I had to admit it. And i don really mind actually.

Dr: How old are you?
Me: Erm... 19?
Dr: Oh. (I think she was expecting me to say 20 or sth) But to a 15 year old, a 19 is an adult.
Me: Oh.

So she's just trying to say that I have to act like an adult. No promises there.
Dr: And buy new shoes.

All in all, I'll say i did pretty okay. But i think it's time to brush up on those CSU skills again. Now I'm praying I get Dr. Meow for OSCE for this EOS and not Tin Ong. That man is a horror!!!


Ok, gonna go study now. Before I go, I'll just like to promote something.

IMU's very own GAMERS' CLUB.
No registration fee, just willingness to loan a few games on a few special events. Coming up soon is a Scrabble Tournament and a Monopoly Tournament (if we get enough supporters). Our teacher advisor is Paul Jambu, and Charmaine of SAD is pretty interested too. SAD is providing us money to buy a few board games and she can get a professional to come and teach us Bridge (if the no. of ppl interested is good).
So GAMERS' CLUB is gonna be one hell of a fun club in the near future.
Stay tune for more updates.

So you see... join the Gamers' Club. Bet it'll be fun.

Ok, signing off now, with

You start worrying and there's no stopping it! Things
just start falling apart and get worse and worse.

We passed by on 10:37 PM |

Road paved on 4:32 PM |

Getting to the BOTTOM...

Pre-S: This post was sitting in Draft for a whole week dee... sigh...


Today, dear passengers, will be a flight down your bowels to the anus through the rectum, and I will be flying you thru the dark, warm place where shit meets open air.

The flight started with a really interesting briefing by Dr. Meow... I mean Ngeow. This is the extent of the conversation in the briefing room.

Dr : When do you not do a rectal examination?

Student: When in pain...
Student: When having diarrhoea?
Student: When bleeding?
Student: When patient don wan to?

Dr. proceeded to mow all our answers to bits.

Dr : The answer is when the patient has no anus.

Students: Oooohhhhh....

Dr: Now a patient comes in with myocardial infarction. Must you do a rectal examination?

Students: Yes.

Dr: Then the patient will say "Hey, my heart up here got problem, why you go dig my backside?" (I made that up. She said sth to that extent, hehe) What will you say?

Students: Er....

I was thinking "If you don't let me dig your backside, i will not treat your MI and let you die."

Soon Liang: Because you have an anus.

Nice answer SL.

And Dr. SJ pointed out that the model's anus is not normal. We were all wondering why.

Dr: Because a normal patient's anus is not gaping wide.

Oh... now we know.


Then we had a chance to practice anal stimulation on the model. In my group is Hanisyam, funny man of my PBL. He came in, donned the gloves apply the lubricator and straight away moved for the patient.

Dr. SJ was horrified; we were rolling on the floor with laughter. Hanisyam is a guy that is so impulsive, and I think he has an obsession in putting on gloves. (In KKB, he had donned gloves, ready to help a lady give birth, but he was too late. He reached the lady and the baby plopped out). So with a slick glove on, he proceeded to ask permission from the 'patient' and explain what he was going to do, all the time rubbing his forefinger with his thumb.

If I was the patient, I would probably freak out!!!

Dr: After you withdraw your finger, you tell the patient to clean up and be sure not to wave the finger in front of him. Then turn around and inspect your finger and smell it.

Ewww....

And I noticed I CANNOT perform a good rectal examination. My digitalis appears to be too short. I was prodding, prodding, prodding, try to feel for the prostrate, when I nearly dislocated my finger. It was partly mistake on my part, but imagine if it was a real human. I was swearing as I tried to pull my finger out, and if it was a real human, he/she would probably wonder what the hell am I doing.

And I have to argue on the point Richard brought up in last sem's IVF debate.

Richard: Anus vs Vagina. Vagina is wet, warm, soft...bla bla bla.

The anal canal is lined with mucosal epithelial, thus isn't it supposed to be wet, warm, soft etc? Add the lubricant and wah lah!!! Furthermore, it is way more tighter than a vagina with TWO sphincters and lined with muscles.

Hanisyam: (Finger in the model) This feels good... very warm and tight.

I know, it doesn't sound right... but shrug...

Dr: If the patient smiles when you are doing a rectal examination, beware.

And that leads me to my next point. Hanisyam pointed out that only gays will get stimulated by anal stimulation. But I seriously don't think so. From what I read, the guy's most sensitive point is the prostrate (ie sth like the girl's G-spot) so the only way to reach the prostrate (like CSU lecturers have shown us) is through anus. So it is like so wrong to say that only gays get high on being banged from behind.

Remember JPJ's lecture on the nervous system of the GIT? The anal canal is filled with nerves too, so when this nerves receives stimulation... u ppl get the picture. And since everyone has an anus... ie guys AND girls...

Let's not get into that, shall we...

So in the end, we remove our gloves and exited the room pleased and satiated, and thoroughly well-aware of the happenings of the back door of the human body. It has truly been an eye opening journey.


Ok, gotta land the plane now. Lecture start already and tons of things to do. See you guys soon, maybe like after IMU Cup k.

I take pride in knowing nothing at all.

We passed by on 4:32 PM |

Road paved on 3:43 PM |

Bangang!!!!!

Yup, that's the word for the day. The word is introduced to us by Hiang Liang aka HL Milk aka Hi-Lo Milk during PBL today.

As you guys know, there has been a change in the PBL faci, and we happen to get this faci that we did not know. We were sitting around, just laughing at each other, waiting for the Faci to come when we realise that it was already getting late. So we decided to start off without the faci.

This was to some extent part of the conversation.

Hiang Liang: Ok, I'll read. (start reading. When he finishes, we had to elect a leader)

Elena: I nominate HL Milk.

HL: Damn, bangang. Ok and the person to write, Shu Jin.

SJ: Wat?! Ok, where's the pen?

HL: Anyone got marker pen? No one? Go next door and get la.

Fahzi: You go la.

HL: What? (All of us start shouting for him to go. He gets up and walk to the door) Bangang. (So we started joking and all that and finally when he returns, he was muttering to himself) Bangang.

SJ gets up to write. But the pen no ink.

SJ: Oi, bangang!

All of us: Hiang Liang bangang!!

HL: Wat???!!!

And we all sat there again, debating back and forth how to get ink for the pen. Some suggested dipping the pen into a bottle of water. Some said just poured the water into the pen. Finally Shu Jin decided to take things into her hands.

SJ: Bangang! (She walks out to get another pen. Returns with a nice pen that have ink and very nice from CSU) Bangang.

She starts writing and we shouted all the key issues.
HL: Shu Jin, write up there.

E: No lar, bangang.

HL: You bangang la.

Jasveen: What bangang means?

HL: Dunno.

Sarah: You use it and you donno wat it is?

SL(Short-Lo): Izzit even a language?

Fahzi: Yes. It means fool.

HL: Full? F-U-L-L? Saya amat bangang.

Adilla: No, F-O-O-L.

HL: Oh, I thought F-U-L-L

All looks at the board. SJ has written FULL as one of the key issues.

Sarah: What FULL? He din eat till full also.

SJ: I just write what you guys say.

HL: The word is FOOL. F-O-O-L.

SJ: That's what I wrote first, and then someone said F-U-L-L.

Guess someone's getting her own share of fun too. Then a guy suddenly popped up at the door. He said something about our faci being on MC and he had to take over. Fine, let him lar. So he sat at one corner and we bickered back and forth without even him saying a word.

Someone: I think it's oesophageal neoplasia. Cause in the study guide said so.

So we discussed how to tackle oesophageal neoplasia, like its pathogenesis, its morphology and all that, when suddenly,

E: Are you guys confirmed that it's oesophageal neoplasia? Want to ask the guy first?

HL: Dr. Izzit oesophageal neoplasia?

The guy: (in that thick Indian slang and so damnit slow) Oe...so..pha..geal ne...o...pla...sia? (He stared at the board like he had never seen it before.) Yes, yes...

HL: Look at the board, see are we on track?

The guy: (Looks for like 5 minutes, then) Yes... yes... But where is the chemotherapy? and the radiotherapy?

HL: It's under treatment sir...

The guy: What about cough?

HL: It's up there.

The guy: Ahh.... And you all know dysphagia is what?

We had discussed dysphagia for 10 whole minutes before and now he ask the question?

All: Yes...

All in all, it's a really weird PBL that day. With bangang PBL-mates and bangang faci. But it's fun, quite nice actually, with my mates, I mean, not the faci.

The faci sucks.


Today's post quite short. Need to complete a lot of things. And there is track and fields tonight. This event sucks. It's put in just becos Sem5 knows that they are going to lose in most events, so they put in Tracks which they excel in. Guess I'll report it tomorrow.

PS: Wei Shung, your Sem damn kiasu!!!!

Signing off now.

Delays are temporary, but mediocrity is forever.

We passed by on 3:43 PM |